Title: What if he finds out?
Pairing: JunToshi
Rating: PG
Summary:Basically, Ohno likes his life. He's a best-selling author, living in a nice house and only sometimes a bit lonely. This nice life is turned upside down after Aiba decides that he needs Ohno's help and so the author suddenly finds himself as the husband of a man who has lost his memory.
Warnings:Try to be careful if Aiba is your attending psychologist
A/N: Dear shardaunei, I somehow went with a mix of your “tropes”, so I hope this hits your nerve. Please have a lot of fun reading this!
Thank you to my beta who supported me the whole time and helped me with the plotting.
Also, thanks to the mods for being patient with me and for organizing the event again!
”It won't be easy but will you help me, anyway?”
Ohno leaned back with a content sigh and pressed the “full stop” key softly.
He did it!
He had managed to finish his chapter in time – actually JUST in time. Nino would come any minute and demand the manuscript.
It had been stressful these past days because as much as Ohno liked his work, he hated being pressured to write. He rather enjoyed sitting on his boat, listening to the soft splashing of the waves while fragments of ideas formed into a bigger composition, characters gained refined traits and settings took shape in front of his eyes.
Words would flow through his mind like rivers and he would forget the time while writing all of them down. But still, he would be able to write along his own time schedule, giving him the freedom to think about some characters or happenings deeper and more thoroughly.
Still, he knew, he had to keep deadlines if he wanted to make money with his hobby, so he had written non-stop for the last days. Luckily, words were coming to his mind under pressure as well, so he had been able to finish everything in time.
This would spare him another speech from Nino about keeping deadlines (and Ohno had enough of them already).
Though...
Ohno let his eyes wander around the room. He would get to hear one of Nino's speeches, anyway.
His desk was in a huge chaos as well as the floor and if he remembered correctly, his whole house looked like a bomb had exploded. But seriously, how should he manage to finish a chapter AND keep the house clean. It was either this one or that one. His manager though was convinced that it was possible to do both OR, as he had advised Ohno several times already, get himself a cleaner.
Ohno didn't like that thought, though. He had problems to let people inside his house – people he didn't know well, at least. Furthermore, the cleaner would maybe put stuff in other places because he didn't know better and Ohno would go crazy finding his own things. So, no matter how much Nino would nag him today, he would NOT make use of a cleaning company.
A moment later, Ohno heard his front door being opened.
“Ohno?!”
“Upstairs!” he shouted back, waiting for Nino to arrive. His manager owned one of the few spare keys to his house because sometimes Ohno was so emerged in his writing that he wouldn't hear anything around him – apparently also the bell.
It was an absolute exception that he gave the key to his house to someone, but Nino was more than his manager. Over the years they had been working together, they had become friends although to Ohno it felt that Nino could forget about this when it came to work – then, he would turn into one of the most persistent, strict manager, one of the largest publishing companies in Japan could have.
When Nino opened the door to Ohno's office, the author knew immediately that his manager had seen the chaos in his house and was not amused. Therefore, he decided to intervene quickly.
“I just finished the chapter,” he announced before Nino could say anything.
However, his strategy didn't seem to work that well because he only received a short nod from his friend and manager.
“That explains all this mess,” Nino replied sourly while he tried to make his way through to the sofa that Ohno used to sleep on when he was in his writing period and couldn't make it to his actual bedroom.
He shoved the blanket away, bringing the rest of Ohno's lunch (pizza) to light. With an eye-roll that made Ohno fear they would pop out any second, Nino sat down, trying to touch the sofa as little as possible.
“I brought the newspaper from the front door with me. Where shall I put it?” he asked, gesturing towards the overloaded desk.
“I'll read it while you take a look at the manuscript?!” Ohno offered.
“Why do you read such a pulpy magazine, anyway? You're an author. Don't you have a certain demand for good writing?” he asked then while he handed Ohno the magazine.
“Sometimes, I get an inspiration for my own story from all the stupid things people do,” the author replied and gave Nino his notebook, who grabbed it quickly, obviously wanting to read what Ohno had written.
While Nino drowned himself in the story, Ohno let out a tiny sigh of relief. For now, he had managed to escape Nino's speech. He knew, he wasn't off the hook yet, but Nino was reading right now and then they would talk about the manuscript and maybe, Nino would forget about the chaos in Ohno's house.
Contently, Ohno opened the magazine. He had spent the last days writing, so now he was in the mood to read something simple.
He was greeted by a familiar face on the first page. His mood dropped a little bit. It seemed that the renowned actor Matsumoto Jun had made the headline again – not a positive one, though.
Ohno had liked the man. Even though film critics were saying that his performance was getting worse with every movie he released, Ohno still liked the way he was acting. However, in the past months, Matsumoto Jun only appeared in TV shows and maybe one episode of a drama, but there hadn't been an announcement of a new movie release.
So, there wasn't much to talk about him, except for another accident he had been involved in, yesterday. Matsumoto Jun seemed to have problems to follow the traffic rules as of lately.
It was not new that celebrities seemed to be of the opinion that traffic rules do not apply for them, so Matsumoto Jun was surely not the only one getting into accidents. However, as Ohno had to realize after reading the article, the actor didn't seem to be much remorseful about the accident that had actually ended with several completely broken cars. The actor had even commented that people should simply get out of his way so he would not crash their cars.
Shaking his head, Ohno turned the page. He really hoped for the young man that there would be something that would change his mind and make him aware of the important things around him.
~ . ~
“Okay, let's get over this, quickly. I have better things to do!” the man said when he entered the room.
Aiba, who did not intend to rush this, at all, eyed the man in front of him.
“Look, I am only here because Sho forced me to,” the man went on, taking the seat opposite of Aiba. “Personally, I think this is just a waste of time.”
It was not the first time Aiba was confronted with such a belief and instead of being offended, he thought of it as rather amusing, because he knew that they would be thankful to him in the end.
“I'm grateful you were able to make time for our appointment anyway, Mr. Matsumoto,” he therefore answered with a bright smile.
He only received a growl as an answer while the man in front of him crossed his arms, leaning back into his comfortable chair.
“Mr. Sakurai is very concerned about you, so he asked me if it would be possible to talk to you,” Aiba went on. Upon hearing his manager's name, Matsumoto Jun's expression softened.
“I know that Sho is worried. I was frustrated and angry and that's why I didn't take care of the speed limit and the traffic. Despite what I told those reporters that were pressing me for a comment on this, I AM sorry about it,” he said with a slightly less aggressive tone and rubbed his forehead.
Aiba had the feeling the man in front of him was opening up, but a second later, the hard expression was back on his face. “That's what you wanted to hear, right? Can I go now?”
Crooking his neck, Aiba gave the man an intense look.
“I think you misunderstood something, Mr. Matsumoto,” he began. “You are not here because you caused an accident. That's something the police has to investigate. You are here because we have to find out why you are so frustrated.”
The man looked at him as if he had lost his senses.
“Isn't that obvious?! Since a few years I am only getting minor roles in movies or inquiries about stupid guest appearances in stupid TV shows. I want another big role, but somehow, all the directors refuse to work with me. They say that I am not in the right shape to act in one of their movies, that I lack something that I had back then when my movie was a huge success.”
The actor was obviously furious, but Aiba could make out a certain helplessness in the man's voice. However, they were on the right track now. He only had to push his patient a little bit further.
“And why do you think you cannot deliver what they are yearning for?” he therefore asked.
“Aren't you suppose to tell me that?” the actor shot back, pouting like a little child.
“I can only help you to find it out,” Aiba answered. It has always been his method to make people realize by themselves what went wrong in their life instead of telling them, because in his opinion, one could only get out of a situation if one was aware of the problems.
“See, I already told Sho. It doesn't make sense to visit a psychologist. They are no help at all. Goodbye, Mr. Aiba!”
The actor stood up forcefully and marched out of the room without another look at the doctor. Aiba gave him the credit that it was a pretty dramatic exit, so maybe that guy wasn't such a bad actor.
However, his patient was pretty much in a desperate situation, though there was not much Aiba could do right now if the actor was refusing him.
Maybe, Sho, who was Aiba's childhood friend and the manager of Mr. Matsumoto was able to push the man onto the right track. He had asked the psychologist to call him when his session with Jun had been over to let him know about his findings.
His friend picked up after the first ringing.
“It's only been five minutes...,” he started. “Don't tell me he already left?!”
Aiba chuckled.
“He is indeed gone,” he informed his friend.
“Oh noooooo!” Sho groaned in frustration. “I told him to at least give this a chance. Seriously, I don't know what to do with him anymore. I can't reach him lately...”
“Calm down, Sho-chan. I've only just started to talk to him though I have a hunch why he is in such a bad condition.”
The silence on the other end of the phone indicated to Aiba that his friend had absolutely no idea.
“I think he is set on this wish of getting another big role in a movie too much. It puts a lot of pressure on him, makes him insecure in the auditions and adds to his frustration if he gets another refusal.”
“But he isn't a bad actor, at all. He just cannot show it right now,” Sho gave back.
“His exit out of my office was quite dramatic, indeed,” Aiba chuckled. “However, he will only get even more grimly determined on getting another big role the more refusals he gets, which, in reverse, will prevent him from showing his real talent. It's a vicious circle.”
Sho took a few seconds to grab what Aiba was saying before he spoke again.
“What can I do about it?”
“The best would be to convince him to take a break, to do something different from acting,” Aiba said thoughtfully.
“He won't agree on that. He is too much set on another successful movie,” Sho gave back, sighing.
“That's why I want him to realize this by himself. It won't be effective if we tell him or even force him to stop. He has to make this decision by himself and this will take some time,” the doctor explained.
“I only want him to be happy,” Sho replied thoughtfully and Aiba felt like patting him on his shoulder.
“I know, Sho-chan. It's still a long way to go for him, though I am sure with the right people on his side, he can do it. You have always been his alley and I ask you to continue to support him.”
“Of course, I will do that. However, I don't think we can go on like this for much longer. Either Jun injures himself in another accident or causes another negative incident, so I won't get any job offers for him at all,” the manager said urgently.
“I will think of something!” Aiba gave back, his mind already starting to scheme. “Leave this up to me!”
Sho had no other option that to agree. Aiba also asked him to carefully find out if Jun could imagine trying something new or at least take a break from acting. Maybe Jun needed a tiny push into this direction simply to get his brain thinking about the possibility.
~ . ~
Jun sighed. He hated it when Sho was like that.
“Okay, tell me that I have done something stupid and that it's not helpful for my career,” he demanded to end the silence in the car.
Sho pressed his lips together, but Jun knew that his comment would get him to talk.
“I don't think it would make any difference if I told you or not. You went ahead and called the TV show master an idiot before it could dawn to you that it would indeed be bad for your career!” Sho replied sourly.
“I'm sorry!” Jun gave back, really meaning it, and stopped the car at the red traffic light.
Sho ran his hand through his hair and sighed deeply.
“Jun, I have serious problems to get ANY job for you already, so I really don't know if there will be something for you after this incident.”
“I know. I am sorry. I promise you to definitely take the next job, whatever it is, and do it perfectly!” Jun said and started the car again after the light turned green.
“Every job?” Sho asked and Jun got the sudden feeling that he didn't like the direction in which their conversation was heading.
“I already told you that I am an actor. I don't want to host a stupid radio show,” he made clear once again.
“I am not talking about a radio show,” his manager replied and Jun felt relieved.
“But they are looking for a costume designer for the new Asadora and since you are quite fond of clothes and styling I thought you might help out...,” Sho went on, pushing his luck.
“NO!” Jun yelled, feeling the anger rising up.
“But maybe you can get another view on the production of a movie,” Sho tried to defend his idea.
“I don't want another view,” Jun made clear.
“I know it's something different than standing in front of the camera but it gives you the chance to take a little break from acting and still stay in the industry...”
“I don't need a break from acting!” Jun shouted, ignoring the honking of the car, which had the priority of traffic but had to stop because of Jun. “I am just not in the right shape at the moment but I will be able to show my skills soon.”
“I am convinced you will be able to do this but in the meantime, you could maybe try something else until you're back in shape,” Sho offered while at the same time he tried to calm Jun down.
“I don't want to do something else. I want to act in a movie, see my face on the big screen, hear the press praising my performance as they did with “Gone by the wind”,” the actor gave back forcefully, his foot pressing down on the accelerator.
“"Gone by the wind” was indeed a masterpiece”, Sho agreed. “However, sometimes it is hard to outdo something that has been perfect.”
“So you're saying that I will never be able to give such a performance again,” Jun said between gritted teeth.
“I am not,” Sho gave back, trying to bite back his own anger about Jun's stubbornness. “I am only saying that you have been a really young, inexperienced actor when you made this movie and were able to act freely without having to meet any expectations. I think this was the key to your success. So maybe, now you need to take a little break from acting, calm down and then start anew.”
Jun felt his blood rushing through his veins. Everything Sho said made sense, but he didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to admit that a break would indeed help him. He wanted to have one more grand role on the big screen!
“I don't want to take a break,” he said, repeating himself. “Once you're gone, you never come back. I cannot live without acting. I have nothing else in my life,” Jun felt himself on the verge of crying, taking less care of things around him, especially the traffic.
“Jun, calm down. I am not putting a ban on you or something. I just thought that it might help you,” Sho tried to reassure him.
“I don't want to be a costume designer!” Jun said once more, his sight becoming blurry from the tears that had formed in his eyes.
“Alright! I got it! I will try to find another role in a movie for you, so please slow down now,” Sho went on with a soothing voice that couldn't hide a little fear upon Jun's speed.
“I am an actor! I AM AN ACTOR! I...”
Suddenly, a car came from the right. Jun hadn't seen it and when he tapped the break, it was already too late. The car crashed into his front side, causing his head to smash into the side window. He could hear Sho scream something before his vision turned black...
~ . ~
Aiba was just about to leave his practice when the phone rang. He was shortly tempted to ignore it, but his sense of responsibility towards his patients made him turn around and walk back to his desk. Maybe one of his patients was in need of help.
“Sunshine Clinic, Doctor Aiba speaking?!” he greeted whoever there was on the other side.
“Aiba?!” he heard his friend's nervous voice.
“Sho-chan? What's wrong?” Aiba could feel his heart speeding up in fear. His friend seldom sounded that anxious.
“I'm at the hospital right now,” Sho explained and the doctor gasped.
“Are you okay? What happened?” he wanted to know immediately.
“We had an accident, but I'm fine,” Sho answered and Aiba sighed with relief. “I only have a slight bruise on my arm. I am not the problem, here. It's Jun.”
Another wave of fear hit Aiba. He had only met the man once and their encounter hadn't been the nicest one, but he didn't want anything to happen to this man, partly because he knew how much Jun meant to Sho as a friend.
“What happened to Jun?” he therefore asked carefully, praying that the answer wouldn't be a too bad one.
“Physically, he is fine. He has a bruise on his forehead, but other than that, he is fine. However, he has no idea who he is. He seems to have lost his memory.”
“Poor Jun,” Aiba commented and was relieved that his patient at least was physically more or less okay. Also, he wasn't too troubled by the mental problem, amnesia after an accident wasn't unusual. Furthermore, it could actually turn out to be something helpful concerning Jun's therapy.
“I don't know what to do now. What am I going to tell Jun?” Sho went on desperately. He seemed to be really concerned about the whole situation, so Aiba needed to make sure that his friend wouldn't do anything hasty now.
“For now, wait for me please. I will make one more call before I'll come to you and we can work something out. It'll be fine, Sho-chan. Don't worry! Just wait for me, okay?”
It seemed that his friend was calming down a bit because when he answered, his voice had lost its desperation.
“Thank you, Ma-chan. Really! I will wait for you!”
“I try to get there as quick as I can,” Aiba promised while he already searched his phone for one specific number. His head had already started to work out a plan...
~ . ~
Ohno had just made himself comfortable on his sofa when his cellphone rang. It wasn't Nino (he had a special ring tone), so he assumed that it was nothing of importance and his documentation about fishes was about to start on TV. However, he hadn't spoken to anyone during the last days because Nino had set another deadline that he made sure was necessary to be met by all means. So Ohno had been writing non-stop, finishing his chapter even ahead of the deadline while he had neglected his social contacts completely.
It might be a good idea to talk to someone, hence he picked up the call.
“Oh-chan~~~!”
The cheerful voice resounded in his ear and Ohno had to grin immediately. He only had one friend that was always in such a good mood.
“Hi Masaki,” he responded the greeting (not as cheerful, but nicely surprised – they hadn't talked in a while).
“Ah, I'm glad you remember me,” the man on the other end laughed.
“Of course!”
Ohno was quite fond of that cheerful man who he had gotten to know during a research for one of his books. He had written about an emotionally disturbed person and since he had no idea how their mind worked, he had looked for an expert in this field. Aiba was the only one who was ready to take time for a talk with the writer without payment and they had spent quite some time together.
In the end, the book had become a huge success and was praised for its realistic approach to the human mind. Ohno had always mentioned that amazing doctor in his interviews who had helped him a lot during the writing process although Aiba had told him that it was not necessary.
They had stayed in contact afterwards and called each other once in a while. It was never awkward to talk to Aiba, no matter how much time had passed between their calls. The man was the perfect partner for conversations with his cheerful way of life
“Perfect! Say, Oh-chan, how are things going?”
“As usual,” Ohno gave back while stretching out on the sofa, resting his head on his arm. “Nino keeps on pestering me to meet my deadlines, so I don't have much time for fishing or other stuff. I didn't go out for the last days because I had to finish a chapter,” he went on, complaining a bit because he knew Aiba would not see it as whining.
“Sounds tough,” the doctor indeed pitied him. “So, no sight of a partner yet if you're so busy?” he wanted to know.
Ohno chuckled. He would feel slightly ashamed of anyone asking this question except for Aiba.
“Nope, none at all. It's only Nino entering my house once in a while.”
“What a sad life, Oh-chan. Seriously!”
“I know, I know,” the writer sighed. He wouldn't have anything against someone warming his bed or massaging his aching neck after a long writing session, but there was absolutely no time to look for someone and, if he was being honest, the spare time he had, he'd rather spend on his little boat than in a café trying to get to know someone.
“I guess I am doomed to stay alone,” he added jokingly.
“Don't say that Oh-chan,” the doctor tried to cheer him up.
“I'm fine with it,” Ohno gave back, meaning it (mostly).
“No, I actually need you to let someone stay at your house,” the doctor went on, his voice as natural and cheerful as if he was just talking about the weather. “Your house is big and I am sure you could need a helping hand in the household.”
“Wait, wait! I cannot simply let a stranger into my house!”
Ohno had sat up during these words. As much as he liked Aiba for his friendly and cheerful way, he feared him for getting what he wanted – no matter how. This man would not accept a “no” if he had set his mind on something.
“He won't think you're strangers. He lost his memory and I will tell him you're his husband,” the doctor went on.
“I am not married!”
Ohno seriously began to worry. Things were getting out of hand here.
“Of course, you're not. Otherwise this would turn into a real chaos,” the doctor sounded really understanding. “It'll do you good to have someone around you as well. You're alone with your computer or your boat the whole day. You also need social contact – and physical contact as well,” Aiba chuckled.
“But I don't know anything about this man,” Ohno tried again.
“Oh, he's quite your type. Tall and handsome, maybe a bit vain, but I am sure you can handle that. I will come by with him next week when he's released from the hospital. Maybe you can clean up a bit, at least,” the doctor informed him without waiting for his consent.
“Aiba, I ...”
“Thank you, Oh-chan. You're such a treasure. I'll let you know more details via LINE. See you!”
The line went dead, indicating that Aiba had cut the call, leaving Ohno with his overwhelmed thoughts. He could not simply act as the husband to someone he had never seen before. What was Aiba thinking? He would call him tomorrow again and cancel all of this. There was no way he would do it!
~ . ~
Jun was fidgeting in his seat, looking out of the car window, trying to figure out if ANYTHING looked familiar to him, but his brain didn't send any signal of recollection.
He hated it – this feeling of not knowing who you are. Ever since he had woken up in this hospital, he felt insecure and overall completely overwhelmed by all those people around him that seemed to know him, although he had no idea who THEY were.
And the worst thing was that he could not remember his own husband at all. He would have sworn that he didn't have one but his attending psychologist was insisting on the fact that he was married and living together with an author. It had taken Jun quite some time to ask of his name because he was convinced that he should remember the name of the person he was in love with (which he was, as Aiba, his psychologist, was hinting all the time).
Now, he was about to meet Ohno, his husband. According to Aiba he had been on a trip overseas and although he had really wanted to come back earlier and visit Jun in the hospital, his manager, who was really strict, had not let him go and forced him to finish his work.
To be honest, Jun had been relieved upon hearing that he had a few more days before he'd meet his husband. He had no idea who this man was and thinking of having to hug, kiss or get intimate with someone, he had no recollection of was causing Jun to panic. What if he didn't feel anything towards that man when they met? What if he didn't like him?
Such thoughts had been running through his head those past days, although Aiba had tried his best to calm him down, reassuring him that this Ohno guy was a sweet and humble man, he couldn't stop getting worried.
“Oh-chan is already super excited to see you again,” Aiba said from the front and smiled at Jun. “He told me, he can't wait to have you back.”
Although Jun knew that Aiba just wanted to cheer him up, it only added to his tension. What if his husband expected him to go on with their life as it was before the accident? Jun had no idea how they managed their daily life, especially not minor details like what Ohno liked to eat or if he was the cuddly type of man or not.
Suddenly, he felt Aiba's hand on his, stopping his fingers from kneading.
“Don't worry so much. Oh-chan knows about your condition and although he was shocked about it at first, he promised to do everything to make you feel comfortable,” he said as if he had read Jun's thoughts. “And even if I assume that he can be quite demanding when it comes to fulfilling his needs, he won't push you, I am sure about that,” he added and with a last comforting pressure on Jun's hand, he took his own back to the steering wheel.
Jun felt himself blush. Of course, he was worrying about this – a lot more than about other things, to be honest. He only hoped that Aiba was right and that Ohno would not want to “celebrate their reunion” tonight.
Maybe he was overreacting. If Ohno was indeed that gentle man Aiba was describing the whole time, there shouldn't be anything to worry about. Of course, they would need some time to get back to their old life, but they love each other, so they surely would manage this.
“We're nearly there,” Aiba informed him a few minutes later. Clinging to his positive thoughts, Jun took a deep breath.
When the psychologist stopped the car in front of a big, modern house, Jun pressed his lips together in determination. This was his home, the place where he had led a happy life until now and he should be glad to be able to come back to.
Jun followed Aiba out of the car towards the front gate. He was making powerful, determined steps, mostly to give himself a push and make sure he wouldn't turn around again.
Aiba closed the gate behind them, giving Jun some time to take in the house and its garden. Then, he put his hand on Jun's shoulder and pressed it softly while they made their way towards the door.
Before they even reached it, it suddenly opened and a man appeared.
He was smaller than Jun and had a slender, but trained figure. His hair was brownish, the front hair combed back in a slight wave, making it look really fluffy. He was wearing jeans that fitted nicely and a black shirt, slightly too big, as Jun noticed. His cheeks looked ready to be pinched while his lips were shimmering slightly as if he had added some lip balm. His eyes were brown and were looking straight at Jun, not unfriendly, though.
“Welcome back, Jun!”
His voice had a soft tone to it and its warmth ran like a shiver over Jun's back.
He had to admit that, as Aiba had promised, this man was completely his type, looking awesome and he obviously seemed to be a really nice guy.
However, he could not remember him, at all.
~ . ~
Sho was pacing his living room, waiting for Aiba's call.
He had told him that he was against his idea of making Jun believe that he was that author's husband. It just didn't feel right to betray his friend like this. Still, Aiba insisted on his plan and no matter what Sho said, he wanted to go through with it, convinced it was for Jun's best.
Maybe, Aiba was even right. At least, Jun was taking a break from acting right now. Maybe he could fill his batteries and when his memory comes back, he'd be able to act like he did before.
However, IF Jun's memory would come back, he'd be angry – very angry! At Sho! And he would need to have an extraordinarily good explanation ready, of why he had agreed to all of this. He would think of that later, though.
For now, he was more worried about how Jun was coping with getting to know his husband. Aiba had assured Sho that Ohno was the most gentle person in this world and that he would never take advantage of this situation in any way. Sho knew he could trust Aiba on that. This man had an excellent nose when it came to judging people.
Still, he couldn't imagine how Jun was feeling – having no recollection of anything at all and being brought to a complete stranger without anyone by his side. His friend must be desperate, maybe even scared and Sho could do nothing at all to help him.
Aiba had even banned him from coming with them because he was worried that Sho might do something stupid, blowing the whole made-up scenario. However, he had promised Sho to call when he had left from Ohno's again.
Sho forced himself to sit down on his sofa only to get up a few seconds later again to get himself a glass of water in the kitchen.
He nearly overheard the ringing of his cellphone because of the noise the water was making, but sprinted back to the living room when he finally heard it.
“Aiba?!”
“Hi Sho! How are you?” the cheerful voice of his friend resounded on the other end.
“I am feeling terrible. My friend is staying at a stranger's house with no memory at all and I allowed it. I am really the worst friend in this whole universe!”
He heard Aiba chuckle.
“You're the very best friend one could have because you are giving Jun the chance to start a whole new life with no pressure and no expectations. He will be able to be carefree from now on,” the doctor said friendly and Sho nearly started to believe him.
“So does he like that author?” he wanted to know.
“I think he does. He was looking at him with appreciation,” Aiba informed him. “He was careful around the house, but he didn't seem to mind too much staying there,” he went on.
“So he didn't ask you to take him back with you?” Sho wanted to make sure.
“No, he didn't. He walked me to the car but only thanked me for the ride before he went back, taking his place right beside Ohno to wave me off,” the doctor went on.
“I see,” Sho only replied, seriously hoping that Jun was alright.
“I know that you are worried about Jun but I can only repeat what I already told you. Oh-chan won't harm him in any way, I promise!”
“But what kind of man is this who lets a complete stranger into his house and acts as his husband?” Sho asked, having wondered about this the whole time.
“I didn't leave him much of a chance to refuse,” Aiba laughed and Sho nearly started to pity the man. He knew how convincing Aiba could be. “It's a new situation for both of them but they are grown-up men and I am sure that they will manage this. Leave them some time and you'll see that my plan will work out!”
Sho only sighed once more. He knew he could trust Aiba although he wasn't too fond of his drastic way of doing things. However, he had calmed a bit down after hearing that Jun seemed to be fine. He would text him later because after all he was still Jun's friend and Jun had relied a lot on him these past days asking Sho tons of questions about his life.
Sho was slightly disgusted of himself by how great of a liar he was, being able to tell Jun all those details without batting an eyelid. Still, Jun was grateful and had accepted Sho quickly as his best friend in his new life.
“Alright,” he finally agreed. “Thank you!”
“You're welcome, Sho! We'll talk soon!”
With that, they cut the call, Sho trying to stay positive. He was seriously hoping for Jun that Aiba's plan would work out. He really wanted the best for his friend and Aiba's comment on “Not a lot of people are given the chance to experience life from a different perspective without being influenced by their former way of living” seemed to make more and more sense to him.
For now, he could only keep his fingers crossed and take care of all those press releases concerning Jun taking a break from acting.
~ . ~
Ohno was sitting at his kitchen table, a cup of coffee in front of him, when he heard steps on the stairs, indicating that his “husband” was making his way downstairs.
He felt a rush of panic coming over him. Yesterday evening had been awkward enough but had ended quite quickly with Jun declaring that he was tired and wanted to got to bed. He had guided the man to their bedroom, showing him all of his clothes (that Aiba and Sho had brought a few days earlier) as well as the bathroom. After that, he left Jun to himself and when he finally decided to go to bed as well, Jun was already sleeping (or pretending to be asleep).
Ohno had not slept very well. He was not used to have someone next to him in bed, so he had laid pretty stiff in his bed, making sure not to hit Jun accidentally. Furthermore, his brain kept on telling him that it was completely wrong what he was doing, because no matter how nicely Aiba had tried to put it, they were betraying this completely innocent man and Ohno hated to be part of it.
“Good morning,” Jun said shyly, appearing in the door frame, pulling the author out of his thoughts.
“Good morning,” Ohno replied, forcing himself to smile to reassure Jun that everything was alright (although NOTHING was alright). “Did you sleep well?”
Ohno could see that Jun was fighting if he should tell the truth or not, so he quickly tried to rescue him.
“Of course, not. What a stupid question. It must have been hard for you to sleep in a bed next to a man you don't remember,” he said and gestured Jun to sit down on the kitchen table as well.
“I am sorry,” Jun began to apologise.
“No, you don't have to be,” Ohno quickly intervened, scolding himself for making Jun feel the need to apologise for something. “I can only imagine how you must feel having lost every memory, having to rely on others to tell you who you are...”
He realized that Jun was looking at him intensely and wondered if he had said something wrong.
“Aiba was right,” Jun began and Ohno seriously began to worry about what Aiba might have told the other man. “You are really gentle.”
The author felt his cheeks blushing while he was relieved that Aiba seemed to have put in a good word for him.
“I'm trying my best,” Ohno gave back with a shy smile.
“I am sure, I will get used to our life soon – but I fear I have to rely on your help,” Jun went on, thankfully taking the cup of coffee that Ohno had just brewed him.
“Of course, I will do everything possible to make it comfortable for you here. Hence, I am willing to answer all of your questions. You can ask me anything,” the author promised, hoping he was not going out on a limb with this.
“Thank you so much,” Jun said, the look on his face completely relieved. “Would it be okay to ask the first questions now? I mean, if you don't have to write now or anything?”
“I finished my chapter already and my manager will only come tomorrow to check upon it, so I am free the whole day,” Ohno let the other man know and felt a bolt of happiness upon seeing Jun's face light up.
“That sounds fantastic,” the man exclaimed. “So...” he started and seemed to think about his first question. “How do we do it?”
Ohno's eyes popped open. He hadn't expected such a direct question to be the first one.
“Um... we... um... are quite cuddly and...,” he began to stutter while Jun looked at him expectantly. “And we… kiss a lot...”
Ohno knew that his cheeks were totally pink right now and that he was fidgeting in his seat.
“I like cuddling and kissing,” Jun stated. “At least, I think I do...,” he added then, thoughtfully.
“You do,” Ohno quickly replied, nodding, hoping that Jun would be alright with his answer for now.
“But doing house work might become quite problematic if we get distracted all the time,” Jun grinned.
“Hu?”
Now Ohno felt like his cheeks were flaming hot. Did Jun really think they would do IT so often that there was no time for doing the housework?!
“I mean, wouldn't it be better to divide the tasks so we can concentrate on them and when we're done with everything we can cuddle... and kiss?” Jun suggested.
Slowly, it dawned to Ohno that Jun was not talking about THIS, but rather about how they are organizing their household and their daily life. He slapped himself mentally before he tried to rescue the situation.
“Actually, you were doing most of the housework because I had deadlines to meet and all...,” he began.
“I see,” Jun laughed. “So it was YOU who distracted ME from work!”
Ohno felt himself starting to grin as well.
“I suppose most of the time it was like that,” he chuckled. “Though, sometimes you could be quite distracting too, so I got into trouble with meeting the deadline,” he went on inventing their daily life, realizing that it was actual quite funny.
“Me?” Jun grinned and wriggled his eyebrows and Ohno suddenly felt as if it really had always been like that because Jun was so carefree and uncomplicated.
“Yep, you!” the author gave back, pointing at Jun, trying to look determined although he knew that he was failing.
They kept on grinning at each other before their whole situation dawned to them again and their laughter died slowly.
“Was it always like this?” Jun asked after some minutes of silence.
Ohno looked up, taking in the pretty, but forlorn face of the man sitting opposite of him.
“Always!”
~ . ~
“Now, tell me how you came to him,” Nino said and crossed his arms.
“You make him sound like a pet,” Ohno complained but his expression showed that he didn't really want to talk about it because he knew that he was doing something “not so good”.
Ohno had texted Nino before that he got himself a husband but he had left out the details and only asked Nino to act along when he came over to check upon the next chapter. He had done what he had been asked for, but now he wanted to know what was going on.
“To me it sounds like you got yourself one,” Nino shot back, looking challengingly at the author.
“It's not like that,” Ohno defended himself before he told his manager everything. Jun had gone out doing the groceries at a nearby store that Ohno had showed him the day before, so the didn't need to worry about him overhearing their conversation.
The more Nino heard about the whole situation, how Ohno got himself into it and what was his part in treating Jun, the more absurd he thought of the whole thing appeared to him.
“And you don't feel bad in any way fooling that poor guy?” he finally wanted to know.
“Of course, I do!” Ohno shot back. “But what shall I do? He's here now. I cannot step out of it after Jun finally found a place he can call his home.”
Nino's mouth dropped open. He had considered Ohno as maybe a little incurious but not a dumb person. The author should know that it was not a right thing to do to fool this actor like that. And now he was even considering the feelings of that man he only knew since one day now.
“First of all, you shouldn't have gotten yourself into this,” Nino began to scold him, “and second, why do you care what happens to that man?”
“Because he's nice and he deserves a nice place to stay. He had quite some troubles in his life before the accident and Aiba told me that he needed a chance to start his life anew. Don't you think anyone deserves a new start?”
Nino raised his eyebrow. It's seldom that he had seen the author that emotional. Could it be that he really cared for that man?
“Of course, I do. However, it might be better to not lead him on like this,” he insisted.
“I know what you mean, Nino. I really do,” Ohno agreed. “However, maybe he needs this drastic approach to come to terms with himself and get his life back together again. He seems to enjoy it here.”
“He seems to enjoy it or YOU do enjoy it?” Nino asked, already having figured out what was going on.
“You always complained that it looks terrible in this house and that I don't eat properly. Now that I finally have someone to take care of that, you don't like it either,” Ohno gave back, pouting, a measure he only used when he was running out of arguments.
“I rather have a problem with the circumstances,” Nino gave back.
The author continued pouting and Nino knew that this meant the end of their discussion. Also, it wouldn't make much sense to push this further. The man was here now, nothing could be done about that anymore and if Ohno enjoyed his presence, the better. He was living quite isolated from people after all, so a bit of human contact might do him some good. Also, the plushy slippers that Jun had bought him yesterday were really comfortable.
There was just one thing that he hoped Ohno had taken into consideration as well.
“What if he finds out?”
Ohno, who had stopped pouting, sighed.
“I asked Aiba about that as well and he said we'll try to think of a solution when it happens,” the author said.
“Smooth,” Nino commented. “Because with a high possibility he won't be the one who's there when Jun finds out.”
Ohno sighed. “I know! But there is also the possibility that Jun never regains his memory...”
“As well as the possibility that he'll find out any moment. You're bringing yourself into trouble, I tell you.”
“Yeah,” was the only thing Ohno replied to that and Nino began to think that Ohno might consider this trouble as endurable.
Before he could press Ohno for more comments on this though, they were being interrupted.
“I'm back~”
“Please, Nino, trust me on this,” Ohno whispered and stood up, ready to greet his husband.
“I will, as long as you finish this book in time,” Nino replied and grinned. He could see that the author was really relieved upon hearing this, so Nino decided to keep all his doubts to himself for now and keep on watching over the whole situation to intervene if necessary.
They went down into the kitchen and Nino was getting really excited to see the man Ohno would take such a risk for. (He had seen pictures of him, but he wanted to get to know him in person).
Matsumoto Jun was indeed very good looking and he had obviously already taken over the kitchen, storing everything he bought in the fridge or the respective cupboards.
Ohno quickly introduced the two men to each other and despite what one had heard about the actor Matsumoto Jun, the man was friendly and polite.
“You know what happened to me in the supermarket?” Jun asked after they had exchanged a few conventional phrases.
“No, tell me!” Ohno answered, looking at him expectantly.
“There was an old woman who asked me if I was an actor,” Jun went on and Ohno's eyes popped open. “She even mentioned the title of a movie – "Gone with the wind" or something it was.”
By now the author had turned completely white and was starring at Jun. He seemed to be in no condition to save this situation. Sighing internally, Nino quickly went to rescue.
“Yeah, they often mistake you for him,” he said casually, moving over to Ohno. “But you don't like it very much if someone does it,” he went on, giving the author a slight pinch to get him back into action.
“Ah, yeah, you even have the same name so it makes you quite angry so that's why I haven't mentioned it until now,” Ohno jumped in.
Jun seemed to be satisfied with this explanation.
“Funny,” he laughed and turned his attention back to the groceries.
“You really should work on not getting petrified in such situations if you want to keep him,” Nino whispered into the author's ear who nodded and started to relax.
~ . ~
Aiba was waving at the two men one last time before he looked at the street again. Sho next to him on the passenger seat was still looking at them.
“It was a really nice evening,” Aiba stated and moved the car around the corner.
“Indeed,” Sho replied and since the two men were out of sight now, he turned forward as well. “Jun is relaxed and… I think he is happy,” he said after some consideration.
“He seems to be a completely different man than the one I got to know in my office only a few weeks ago,” the psychologist agreed and smiled softly.
He felt Sho looking at him from the side.
“I will not tell you that you are a genius,” he then said stubbornly but Aiba only giggled.
“I'm serious”, Sho went on. “He seems to really like it at Ohno's place. What happens to him if he finds out? If he regains his memory and has to realise that he is currently living a lie? That non of this is real?”
Aiba had to restrain himself to not roll his eyes. He has heard this question a hundred times already, 90 times out of them from Sho.
Of course, it's a fact that one should keep in mind. Nobody would like to find out that he's been lied to for a period of time. However, the most important thing right now was that Jun was feeling good, that he liked his “new” life. Because besides the feeling of being deceived, he would also remember how nice his past weeks (or months, or years) had been.
Aiba was convinced that these feelings of happiness would be stronger than the knowledge that he had been lied to (for his best). Jun had been a man driven against the wall before his accident. Now he was carefree and relaxed. He would most probably want to stay like that.
“I think, Jun will value this experience he has been granted and will draw the right conclusions,” he said, as he had told Sho about 90 times before.
The managed only sighed (as he had also done 90 times before).
They drove for a while and Aiba was quite satisfied with himself. He knew that his method was quite unconventional, but watching Jun and Ohno getting along so well, proved it to be pretty effective.
“What about Ohno?” Sho suddenly interrupted the silence.
Aiba glanced at the man next to him. This question was a new one.
“What about him?” he gave back, earning himself an unnerved sigh from Sho.
“What happens to him if Jun finds out? I mean, he doesn't mind having him in the house and obviously, he likes to be close to him,” Sho talked about his observations. “Won't he be sad when Jun is gone?”
Aiba had to congratulate Sho in his mind. He was getting good at interpreting human emotions.
“Maybe, he can stay a part of Jun's life, then,” the psychologist voiced his thoughts.
“I don't think Jun would like to talk to him afterwards. In his eyes, Ohno might be the one who betrayed him the most – faking a marriage and all,” Sho pointed out.
“Maybe,” Aiba only said.
Of course, he couldn't predict Jun's reactions at all, but he had a hunch that it wouldn't be as bad as Sho was picturing it right now. However, he didn't want to lean too far out of the window, so he rather stayed vague upon this matter.
“But his Spare Ribs were really delicious,” he changed the topic because Sho could be quite persistent when he wanted. “I didn't know he is such a great cook!”
Luckily, the other man jumped in.
“Jun has always liked to cook. He has a lot of cooking books at home and he had loves to invite his friends over for dinner, trying out new recipes. But recently, he couldn't find the motivation to cook. I am glad he started again.”
Sho finally smiled at Aiba.
“Then, he's completely right at Oh-chan's place because that guy can only cook Cha-Han and fish soup,” Aiba laughed and Sho joined him shortly after.
~ . ~
Humming, Jun put the groceries, he just bought, in the fridge. He wanted to make Curry for dinner today, because it was one of Ohno's favourites.
He could already picture his husband taking the first bite, closing his eyes while chewing. He would open them again, look at Jun with this soft expression, and praise him for the tasty food.
Jun would tell him that it is just Curry and that it was nothing special, but Ohno would insist that it tastes better than the last time where it had already been overly delicious and then he would smile at him again. Jun loved those smiles. They caused his heart to beat faster while a comforting warmth was spreading through his chest, making him feel all bubbly.
Moments like these happened quite often lately. Whenever Ohno was smiling at him or praising him for keeping the house in such a perfect condition, he would feel warm all over, well, happy.
He assumed that it had been like that before his accident as well and he has relieved that his feelings for his husband had come back to him that quickly. He had been worrying what kind of man he had fallen in love with, but now that he got to know Ohno better over the past two months, he was sure he couldn't have found anyone better than this gentle and sweet man.
In addition, more often than not, he felt the need of getting physically closer to his husband – which was only natural because they must have done that before, obviously. Ohno had said they were cuddly. However, he hadn't shown any attempt to hug Jun or take his hand.
Ohno was probably just thinking that Jun needed more time, but to be honest, he didn't. He wanted to touch Ohno so badly that it nearly hurt. But what if Ohno was getting doubts about all this? What if he didn't want to touch Jun anymore now that he was “broken”? His fear of getting rejected by Ohno was too big to try anything, so Jun kept on living with his suppressed feelings.
Anyway, he would cook Ohno's favourite curry today and that would at least earn him one of those beautiful smiles.
“Jun?”
Ohno's voice resounded in the house. He had been trying to finish his chapter today and it seemed like he had succeeded.
“In the kitchen,” he informed his husband.
He heard Ohno coming into the kitchen and closed the fridge.
“Did you finish the chapter?” he asked.
Ohno stretched like a cat and nodded.
“Yes, I am done. And this time before the deadline, again. That's all thanks to you!”
Jun's eyes popped open.
“Thanks to me?”
Ohno nodded.
“Yes. You do so much around the house that I only have to concentrate on writing and move along faster than before. And...,” the author added with a grin. “I want to spend the evening with you, so I try to push forward really hard during the day.”
There it was again. That smile, those nice words, the warmth that only Ohno was able to cause.
“I want to support you,” Jun said shyly.
“You do so much for me,” the author began again and moved closer to Jun. “I really want to thank you.”
Jun waved him off and opened his mouth to tell Ohno that he was exaggerating but the author indicated him to let him go on speaking.
“That's why today I decided that you don't have to cook. We will go out!”
Jun looked at Ohno in surprise.
“But I really don't mind cooking for you,” he set straight. “We don't have to eat out. I even already bought all the ingredients for today,” he went on.
“They will be still good tomorrow,” the author decided. “Don't misunderstand me, Jun. I really REALLY love your cooking. It's always tasty! However, I also think that you deserve a break.”
“I am fine,” Jun said. He didn't want his husband to think that he was not capable of doing all the work.
“I know you are, but you are doing so much work around the house that I really want to thank you for that. So please, let me take you out for dinner today,” Ohno pleaded.
Jun finally understood that Ohno really meant well for him and was not thinking of Jun as incapable of doing the housework.
“Well, then, I need to get dressed,” he said and felt all bubbly inside.
This was the first time the two of them went out like this – it was something like a date! Of course, they had had a lot of dates before, but since Jun could not remember any of them, he was excited for this one now. So, what was he going to wear?
~ . ~
It had been an awesome evening. Ohno had brought Jun to a posh restaurant with expensive but amazing food.
After two glasses of wine, Jun had finally found the courage to ask Ohno about how they got to know each other, learning that it had been a friend who introduced them to each other. According to Ohno, things went smoothly from then on, them quickly becoming a happy couple.
It was nice to hear “old stories” and although he had no memory of them, Jun could picture himself and Ohno clearly in his mind.
After the meal, they decided to take a little walk. Since the restaurant was located at the harbour, they walked along the water, the lights of the street lanterns reflecting in it.
At some point, Ohno had reached for Jun's hand, causing Jun's heart to race in his chest, while happiness bubbled through his body. He enjoyed the feeling of Ohno's slender hands in his own. Furthermore, he was relieved that his husband had obviously not lost the will to touch him.
“After our first big fight, we had our date here at this place,” Ohno suddenly told him.
Jun couldn't believe his ears.
“We fought?” he asked astonished. He simply couldn't imagine fighting with his husband. Ohno was always calm and gentle.
“All couples do,” Ohno reminded him.
“I can't believe it,” Jun gave back. “Even now, I think we will never fight.”
Ohno smiled sadly.
“I guess one day we will fight, no matter how well we work right now,” he said, looking over the wide ocean.
“But we will make up again, right? We always have, right?” Jun simply didn't want to think about having to fight with Ohno.
“We could never stay angry at each other for too long,” Ohno agreed. “Mostly, because we couldn't keep away from each other,” he added and grinned.
“We could keep away from each other quite long right now,” Jun gave back and felt Ohno looking at him.
“I thought you might need more ti-,” Ohno started.
“I don't!”
Jun really wanted his husband to know that he was ready for more. Not just holding hands, which was nice, but more!
“I see,” Ohno just said and Jun lost all his courage that he somehow had found in the last minute.
“I mean, if you don't want to, you don't have to. I know it's not easy with me right now and...,” Jun went on, trying to rescue the weird situation.
“Don't be silly,” Ohno interrupted him. “There is nothing I would like to do more!”
With this, Jun felt himself being pulled into his husband's arms, their faces moving automatically closer to each other.
The moment their lips met, Jun felt a spark going through his body. It felt like their first kiss, which it actually was, kind of, because Jun couldn't remember the other one.
With his body on fire, Jun pressed himself closer to Ohno and enjoyed the warm wetness on his lips. As expected, his husband was a perfect kisser, so it took a while before they pulled apart.
They grinned sheepishly at each other.
“Has it always been like this?” Jun asked, the question having become some sort of joke between those two.
“No,” Ohno said. “It has never been as wonderful as today!”
And Jun melted in Ohno's arms.
~ . ~
It was the next day after their first kiss (and Ohno was still dreaming about it) when his cellphone rang, indicating Sho as the caller.
Usually, Sho would call Jun and they'd talk ages, so the author started to wonder if something was wrong.
“Hi,” he therefore picked up the call quickly.
“Hello,” Sho replied the greeting.
“Jun is out shopping with Aiba right now,” Ohno informed Sho, assuming that the man couldn't go through to Jun on his cellphone and was hence calling him.
“I wanted to speak to you,” the man on the other side made clear.
Ohno quickly searched his brain if he had done something wrong because Sho had always been a bit sceptical when it came to him. He could understand that though, Sho was Jun's friend, after all, and only worried.
“It's about your kiss,” Sho went on and Ohno could feel a little blush creeping up his cheeks. Why did Sho know about it? Did Jun tell him?
He felt slightly embarrassed by the thought that Sho knew about their kiss and he hoped that Jun didn't share too many details with his friend.
“A photographer saw you and recorded it,” Sho went on. So it hadn't been Jun telling him about it. However, Ohno had not thought for one moment about Jun being actually known when they had walked along the water and shared a kiss.
“The picture has gained quite some publicity,” he was being told and started to scold himself for being that careless. “I managed to calm people down with a few announcements and I don't think they'll show it on TV, but maybe you can keep Jun from watching anything for the next two days.”
Ohno's heartbeat had started to go up in the past minute Sho had been talking. He was angry at himself for being so stupid and kissing Jun in public and creating a possibility of Jun finding out about their lie. He wanted to spend some more time with Jun, especially after their first kiss.
“I am sorry,” he therefore started to apologize. “I will make sure Jun is distracted today,” he then promised but realized after a few seconds that his comment could be misinterpreted. “I don't mean it THAT way,” he quickly tried to rescue the situation but stopped when he heard Sho giggling on the other end.
“Seriously, Ohno, I don't care HOW you distract him as long as Jun doesn't find out about it,” the manager laughed and the author had to smile as well.
To be honest, he hadn't expected Sho to be that supportive. He always had the feeling that the man was not approving him completely as Aiba's choice.
“I will do my best. Thank you so much for telling me,” Ohno said.
“Sure,” the other man gave back and after a few seconds of silence he spoke again. “Jun has become a relaxed person ever since he is living with you and he seems to enjoy life a lot more than he has before. I am really grateful that you could provide him with an environment that is making him happy!”
Ohno was so surprised over the confession that he was speechless for a moment. Obviously, he had been too harsh with his judgement about Sho. The manager might not approve the whole situation over all (what Ohno could completely understand) but he seemed to see that Jun was feeling good, which was the most important fact for Sho.
Furthermore, Ohno had of course realized that Jun was not dreading the circumstances he was living in, but hearing Sho saying that Jun was happy, filled him with joy. He had hoped to make Jun feel comfortable but he had never dared to hope that Jun was enjoying his life with him so much.
“I want Jun to feel good here,” Ohno finally said.
“I know,” Sho gave back softly. “Sometimes, and please don't get me wrong when I am saying that now, sometimes I wish that Jun will never find out about what is actually going on.”
Still a little bit surprised about the sudden sincerity of the other man, Ohno had to agree. Sho wasn't the only one having these thoughts although their base for thinking like that might be slightly different.
“Oh, I don't mean that I want to keep you in this situation forever. I am sure you have imagined your life in a different way, without a false husband and such,” Sho suddenly said, seeming to have realised that Ohno might have interpreted his words in a different way.
“Actually, I don't mind the situation,” Ohno resolved Sho's doubts. He had never told anyone before that he was feeling like this although he knew since a while that he liked having Jun around and was scared about what might happen if Jun regains his memory, one day. However, confiding in Sho, who was still quite a stranger to him, had felt right, just now.
“I see,” the other man gave back. “Then, I will try to silence even the last reporters who are still talking about the photograph so that the risk of Jun stumbling over it is as low as possible.”
Ohno interpreted Sho's comment as an agreement to support him and thanked him again for everything before they cut the call.
He already started to map out a plan on how to keep Jun from watching TV today. Maybe they could cuddle on the sofa and watch a DVD. There might be the chance to steal a few more kisses from those pretty lips of his husband...
~ . ~
When Jun finished reading the last sentence, he realised that his mouth was hanging slightly open. He quickly closed it before he put the last page back on the staple of paper that was lying next to him.
He had just been reading the latest chapter of his husband's new book. About two weeks ago, Jun had realised that he didn't know any of Ohno's works and he had decided to change that, so he asked his husband for his books.
It turned out that Ohno had not a single of his own books in his house. He thought it's arrogant to have his own book on the shelf. However, he offered Jun to read his stories on the computer which he had rejected. He liked having a book in his hand and turning pages, feeling the slightly rough paper between his fingers, a lot more than staring at a screen.
That's why he had went to the local book store to buy all of his husband's work. He explained that since they were HIS books, it wasn't arrogant to keep them in their house and he had the feeling that Ohno had been very happy to hear that Jun was interested in his work.
After starting to read the first book, Jun realised two things.
First, he really really liked reading. It must have been one of his hobbies before he lost his memory.
Second, his husband was a really talented author and his books were incredibly thrilling. Jun couldn't stop reading at all and nearly had to force himself to take breaks so that he could cook, which he usually loved to do.
Ohno had laughed about it and even offered to cook by himself, which Jun had been tempted to accept but he didn't feel like Cha-Han that day.
In the end, he had finished all of Ohno's six books in only twelve days and was longing for more of his husband's work. He had complained to Ohno who had allowed then him to read the manuscript of the book he was currently working on.
Jun had been thrilled to read it because he knew that until now only Nino had read it and nobody else. However, now that he finished all of Ohno's completed chapters, he wanted to know how the story would go on.
So, why should he not take advantage of the fact that he was the husband of the author?!
When he was looking up, he met Ohno's eyes. He hadn't realised that his husband had been watching him as he had assumed that Ohno was still writing.
It had become a habit that Jun was reading in Ohno's office, sitting on the comfy sofa that has been placed there. He could have chosen any other room but Jun liked to be close to Ohno and he could stand up quickly and steal a few kisses from his husband. Since their first kiss, they had shared a lot more, but Jun simply couldn't get enough of them.
“So, what do you think?” Ohno finally asked.
He had always asked Jun about his opinion on his books after he had finished them and Jun had felt incredibly happy to know that his husband was interested in his thoughts on the books. Now, he was even involved in the writing process.
“I think it's really exciting,” he answered. “Maybe the character development is a bit too fast though,” he added.
“I had feared it is. Since Nino is also a bit worried about this, I should go over that again,” Ohno said thoughtfully.
“It might be better,” Jun agreed. “So...,” he began. “How does it go on?”
Ohno chuckled.
“Not telling you!”
Jun made a shocked noise.
“What good is it to be the husband of the writer if you won't be told how the story will go on?!” he said and stood up, making his way to Ohno's seat, pinning him down in his chair while cupping his face in his hands. “I will pay for it,” he promised in a low voice and brushed his husband's lips.
He could see Ohno struggling to regain his composure and had to stop himself from grinning. He loved the effect he had on his husband (and the one Ohno had on him).
“I take the kiss happily, but I won't tell you how it goes on,” Ohno said, his voice trembling slightly.
Jun pouted.
“But I promise you to let you read the next chapter as soon as I finished it,” Ohno tried to soothe him.
“Even before Nino?” Jun asked, still pouting.
“Even before Nino,” his husband confirmed.
“Really? Wouldn't it be better to have him read it first? He is your manager after all,” Jun asked, not wanting to be a hindrance to Ohno's work.
“I want you to read it first,” Ohno gave back.
Jun could feel his heart starting to beat faster. He knew how much effort Ohno put into his work and how particular he was about his writing, so he was incredibly happy to hear that he wanted him to read it first.
“You are the number one in my life, so it is only natural that you'll be the one who reads my work first,” his husband went on and Jun's heart was racing by now.
Of course they had been kissing and cuddling over the past weeks, but Ohno had never confessed his feelings to him before. Although Jun had told himself (and was being told by Sho and Aiba) that it was nonsense to doubt Ohno's feelings, he had been worried that his husband might not want him as much as he had before his accident because in some way Jun was different now without his memory.
But now, Ohno had eased his fears and Jun couldn't stop himself from grinning. Suddenly, he felt very confident.
“So can I read it now?” Jun asked cheekily.
Ohno huffed.
“So you're only after my work, not caring about my feelings, at all,” he said, his hands waving dramatically and his voice was full of exaggeration.
Jun knew that Ohno was acting but he wanted to make one thing very clear, so he put his finger under Ohno's chin and raised his head, making their eyes meet.
“I care a lot about your feeling and I will never do anything that might hurt you,” he said serious and saw Ohno's eyes becoming soft.
However, before he could say more sappy things, Jun decided to show Ohno in a different way how much he cared for him and dived down for a long kiss.
~ . ~
“You're moving along nicely this time,” Nino stated after he finished to read the latest chapter.
“It's all thanks to Jun”, Ohno gave back. “He is taking good care of me, makes sure I sleep and eat enough to be in a good state to write...”
“While he also takes care that you are constantly grinning like an idiot,” Nino added, not unfriendly though. “Happiness causes people surpass themselves as you do with this story right now.”
“He really does make me happy,” Ohno admitted and smiled softly.
“I am happy for you, Oh-chan. I really am,” Nino assured his friend. “However, I am also worried about you.”
“I know,” the writer sighed, already aware of where this dialogue would lead right now. “But Jun told me that he would never hurt me,” he added stubbornly.
“I doubt he will remember that when he finds out about all of this,” Nino commented, trying not to sound too sarcastic.
“I know that he'll be furious when he regains his memory and realises what is going on. However, I want to think that he might also remember the wonderful moments we've spend together until now,” the author said and looked up to his friend.
Nino felt terribly sad for his friend. Ohno had falling in love with Jun but who knew if Jun's feeling were really sincere, too?
Everyone had told him that he had been overly in love with his husband and that they were a really happy couple. Jun had not even had the chance to get to know Ohno without any previous knowledge to judge him by himself. All those feelings that Jun might think he was having might only be the ones others told him to have.
Since Ohno was a clever man, he was also very aware of this fact which must hurt him quite a lot. Still, he was holding up the farce while his heart fell deeper and deeper for Jun. Wouldn't it be better to stop this whole thing before Ohno (and also Jun) would get hurt even more?
“What about YOU telling him the truth? He might appreciate your honesty,” Nino therefore suggested and for a moment, Ohno really seemed to consider that option.
However, when he answered, his eyes gave his thoughts away before he even voiced them.
“I cannot, Nino. I am too scared to loose him. I want to have him around me as long as possible.”
Nino patted his friend's back, not able to say much more. If Ohno had already fallen so deeply for Jun that he could not imagine being without him, there was nothing much they could do than to hope that Jun would never find out or that he won't get too angry, if he did.
“I hope you two will be able to spend a long time together,” he then said and Ohno thanked him. “However, if one day things might get out of control, you can always count on me, you do know that, right?”
Again, Ohno thanked him, but Nino could see the fear in his eyes.
He really wished, he would be able to help the author in any way, but the situation was simply too complicated and too unpredictable. They could only wait what time would bring. However, life sometimes had some surprises up its sleeves that nobody would ever think of...
~ . ~
“This was sooooo good!” Sho sighed and cleaned his mouth with the napkin.
“Really, Jun, if I would have any space left in my stomach, I would eat more, but I fear that if I eat one more piece of your amazing chocolate cake, I will burst at the seams,” Aiba agreed and rubbed his tummy.
“I usually don't eat sweet things, but your chocolate cake was really tasty! And the steak with the oven potatoes...,” Nino raved, his eyes glistening.
Ohno could see Jun beaming upon the praises of his friends. And Ohno could only agree. Jun had prepared a real feast.
They had invited their friends to celebrate the completion of his book. Nino had finally approved the latest draft and now it was ready to be handed to the proofreaders. Sure, there would be still some work to do if the manuscript came back from them, but the main work was done and thanks to Jun, completely in time.
Ohno had offered to look for a caterer but Jun had not wanted to hear any of this. He liked cooking, he had said, and he would be happy to prepare the food for this special occasion.
“It was really tasty, Jun. Better than in any restaurant!” Ohno also praised his husband who beamed at him.
“I wanted to prepare the perfect food for such an occasion,” he said and everyone agreed that it was indeed suited for such a celebration.
“I especially liked the marinade for your meat,” Aiba stated and in his head, Ohno agreed. The meat had become really tasteful thanks to it.
“Thank you! I got the receipt from Nagase during the filming of our movie,” Jun gave back, smiling.
Ohno's heart seemed to stop in his chest and also his friends were only gaping at Jun, some in horror and some in shock.
Also, Jun seemed to have realised what he had just said. His face showed the same expression of shock than Nino's. How long would it take until Jun's memory would provide him with the truth of his life?
Ohno already saw his life shattering right before his eyes. In a few minutes, Jun would know that he had been betraying him the whole time and then...
Ohno didn't want to think of what would happen then. He had always pushed the thoughts away, telling himself that he'd think about it when it was happening. However, NOW was the time to do so, but he couldn't. He still wanted to deny that Jun would leave him any minute. He had wanted to spend more time with that adorable man that had brightened his life in the past months.
Aiba was the first one to break the silence when he coughed slightly.
“You do remember Nagase?” he asked.
“Yeah...,” Jun answered, his voice wary.
“And you do remember the filming?” Aiba went on inquiring and although Ohno knew that someone had to talk to Jun, he wished, the psychologist would stop asking questions and help Jun's memory to fill in all the missing pieces.
This time, Jun only nodded.
“I see,” Aiba only replied before everyone fell silent again.
It cost Ohno all of his courage to look up at Jun. His husband... no, the actor was looking up at the ceiling, his expression unreadable. Ohno tried to cling to the fact that Jun was still sitting there and hadn't started to scream at him, but maybe, he needed a bit more time to sort his thoughts.
Ohno began to wonder if he should say something to Jun, if he should apologise or if he should ask for forgiveness. It might sooth Jun.
He kind of wished he had followed Nino's idea of telling Jun the whole truth before the other man would find out by himself. He could have explained everything properly, having had time to think about every word beforehand. Now, he was tongue-tied, and had no idea what to say.
“I do remember everything,” Jun stated and Ohno knew that he should say something, but his brain was still completely empty except for the thought that he would now loose Jun.
“I am so sorry, Jun,” Sho suddenly began. “Please don't be too angry with us. We only wanted to help you,” he tried to explain, wringing his hands.
“That's right!”, Nino jumped in. “And we had the feeling that you liked it here.”
“I only wanted you to be happy and stop putting yourself under pressure. You were so carefree these past months and smiled so much more. I was glad to see you like this,” Sho went on, obviously teaming up with Nino to try and prevent the worst.
“And you might doubt this man here,” Nino continued, pointing at Ohno. “But I can assure you his feelings for you were not acted at all. He is head over heels in love with you.”
Upon hearing this, Jun's look finally fell on Ohno. His face still not giving away any of his feelings.
“Really?” he asked.
Ohno would have loved to confess to Jun in any other situation, but since this was probably the last time he'd speak to Jun, he had to jump at his chance to tell him about his true feelings.
“I love you, Jun!” he therefore said, clearly and hopefully sounding convincing. “These past months with you have been so wonderful. I love having you around me and whenever you're out, I can't wait till you're back. I don't want to be without you ever again.”
Ohno knew that his last words were unnecessary since Jun would leave him anyway, but still, he wanted to say them, simply letting him know.
Jun sighed upon these words, but surprisingly, he still hadn't stood up to leave.
Sho and Nino looked like they were frantically searching for something to say to make Jun change his mind while Aiba was only watching Jun.
“I'm sorry, Ohno-san,” Jun finally whispered and Ohno's heart shattered into pieces. It was not as if he had not expected it, but Jun's words put an end to all of his hopes.
“I am sorry for lying to you!” Jun went on.
Now, Ohno was confused. Either his ears were not working correctly or Jun had gotten the situation wrong. Maybe, his memory still hadn't come back completely.
“What?” Sho asked and seemed to be as surprised as Ohno.
“I...,” Jun started but stopped in order to take a deep breath.
“It's okay, Jun,” Aiba encouraged him friendly and smiled at him.
“I know that I am an actor,” Jun finally said after another deep breath.
“Because you just remembered,” Sho stated, but Jun shook his head.
“No. I remembered this about two weeks ago,” he finally said, shrinking in his seat.
Ohno blinked. He still couldn't follow Jun completely. The only thing he understood was that Jun still hadn't gotten up to leave the room and that he was apologising for something.
“So you knew that we were lying to you for some time already but you didn't say anything?”, Nino summarized what he had understood and Jun nodded.
“I know I should have said something, but I didn't want to,” he confessed and started to play with his fingers.
“May I ask why you didn't want to tell us?” Aiba asked softly.
“Because I was worried that Ohno would send me away, then,” Jun explained and began to fidget nervously on his chair. “As Sho said, I am happy here. I feel good and I can laugh wholeheartedly. I didn't want to leave and go back to my former life...,” he went on, looking quite miserable, but he wasn't finished yet.
“Once I remembered my old life, I realised that I don't want to go back to it. I was so stressed and under pressure. I was fixated on the thought of getting another big role, convinced that I would only become happy when I would finally get it,” Jun went on, obviously having to let everything out. “But since I am here, I realised that a role in a movie is not going to make me happy. Having someone to care for, to talk to about your day, to hug and cuddle is what makes me feel happy.,” he explained.
Then, he looked at Ohno.
“Please, can you let me stay here, Ohno-san?”
Ohno tried to follow and if he got this correctly, and he wasn't so sure about this, the actor was not mad at him. He asked if he could stay. HE DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE!
“Jun, I will never sent you away!” he quickly made clear.
Jun smiled shyly at him. “I wasn't sure if you feel the same way I do. When I found out that we're not really married, I thought you might simply act like this so I would not find out about everything and cause trouble,” he explained his thoughts.
Ohno felt guilty pangs in his chest. He had made Jun so insecure with this lie that the other man had to suppress his wishes and feelings. He never wanted Jun to be in such a situation again.
“Who is the actor among us?” he therefore asked and Jun pointed reluctantly at himself. “Everything I told you, everything I did was because I was truly feeling it. I never did anything because I didn't want to or only because of our lie. As I said before, I love you, Jun and I don't want you to leave!” he made sure and hoped that despite all the lies, Jun would believe him this time.
“So I can stay here?” Jun asked and Ohno nodded forcefully.
“I don't have to go back to acting?” he asked, this time directed at Sho.
“Of course not!” the man answered. “I would never force you to do something you don't want to. I already told you before that you can take a break or even quit anytime you want. I just thought you didn't want to,” he assured Jun, who sighed in relief.
“I was actually thinking about applying for a job in the restaurant around the corner. They are looking for someone who helps out in the kitchen,” he said and looked at Ohno, wanting to know what he'd say about it.
“That's a great idea!” the author said. “You like cooking and it's nearby. It's perfect!”
The others also agreed that it was a really nice idea and Sho promised to visit the restaurant as soon as Jun was hired.
“So, now that this is solved,” Aiba announced in his personal cheerful way. “I think that enough time has passed to fit in another piece of this tasty chocolate cake,” he said and Jun immediately jumped up to get him the requested food.
“Seriously, Oh-chan, you should turn this into a book,” Nino stated before he also offered Jun his plate for another piece.
“We can even make a movie out of it,” Sho grinned. “With someone else in the main role, of course,” he quickly added and also asked for another piece of chocolate cake.
Ohno just laughed. He didn't care about books or movies right now. He was simply overflowing with happiness that Jun was not running away, leaving him behind.
When Jun came to bring him a new piece of cake as well, Ohno reached out for him to plant a kiss on his now official boyfriend's full lips, enjoying the sweet taste of it, knowing, that he would be allowed to kiss them again and again without having to worry about this stupid lie anymore.
They would need to have some more talking and explaining to do, but Ohno was sure that nothing would change their minds. They would stay together – forever.
~ . ~ THE END ~ . ~
Pairing: JunToshi
Rating: PG
Summary:Basically, Ohno likes his life. He's a best-selling author, living in a nice house and only sometimes a bit lonely. This nice life is turned upside down after Aiba decides that he needs Ohno's help and so the author suddenly finds himself as the husband of a man who has lost his memory.
Warnings:Try to be careful if Aiba is your attending psychologist
A/N: Dear shardaunei, I somehow went with a mix of your “tropes”, so I hope this hits your nerve. Please have a lot of fun reading this!
Thank you to my beta who supported me the whole time and helped me with the plotting.
Also, thanks to the mods for being patient with me and for organizing the event again!
”It won't be easy but will you help me, anyway?”
Ohno leaned back with a content sigh and pressed the “full stop” key softly.
He did it!
He had managed to finish his chapter in time – actually JUST in time. Nino would come any minute and demand the manuscript.
It had been stressful these past days because as much as Ohno liked his work, he hated being pressured to write. He rather enjoyed sitting on his boat, listening to the soft splashing of the waves while fragments of ideas formed into a bigger composition, characters gained refined traits and settings took shape in front of his eyes.
Words would flow through his mind like rivers and he would forget the time while writing all of them down. But still, he would be able to write along his own time schedule, giving him the freedom to think about some characters or happenings deeper and more thoroughly.
Still, he knew, he had to keep deadlines if he wanted to make money with his hobby, so he had written non-stop for the last days. Luckily, words were coming to his mind under pressure as well, so he had been able to finish everything in time.
This would spare him another speech from Nino about keeping deadlines (and Ohno had enough of them already).
Though...
Ohno let his eyes wander around the room. He would get to hear one of Nino's speeches, anyway.
His desk was in a huge chaos as well as the floor and if he remembered correctly, his whole house looked like a bomb had exploded. But seriously, how should he manage to finish a chapter AND keep the house clean. It was either this one or that one. His manager though was convinced that it was possible to do both OR, as he had advised Ohno several times already, get himself a cleaner.
Ohno didn't like that thought, though. He had problems to let people inside his house – people he didn't know well, at least. Furthermore, the cleaner would maybe put stuff in other places because he didn't know better and Ohno would go crazy finding his own things. So, no matter how much Nino would nag him today, he would NOT make use of a cleaning company.
A moment later, Ohno heard his front door being opened.
“Ohno?!”
“Upstairs!” he shouted back, waiting for Nino to arrive. His manager owned one of the few spare keys to his house because sometimes Ohno was so emerged in his writing that he wouldn't hear anything around him – apparently also the bell.
It was an absolute exception that he gave the key to his house to someone, but Nino was more than his manager. Over the years they had been working together, they had become friends although to Ohno it felt that Nino could forget about this when it came to work – then, he would turn into one of the most persistent, strict manager, one of the largest publishing companies in Japan could have.
When Nino opened the door to Ohno's office, the author knew immediately that his manager had seen the chaos in his house and was not amused. Therefore, he decided to intervene quickly.
“I just finished the chapter,” he announced before Nino could say anything.
However, his strategy didn't seem to work that well because he only received a short nod from his friend and manager.
“That explains all this mess,” Nino replied sourly while he tried to make his way through to the sofa that Ohno used to sleep on when he was in his writing period and couldn't make it to his actual bedroom.
He shoved the blanket away, bringing the rest of Ohno's lunch (pizza) to light. With an eye-roll that made Ohno fear they would pop out any second, Nino sat down, trying to touch the sofa as little as possible.
“I brought the newspaper from the front door with me. Where shall I put it?” he asked, gesturing towards the overloaded desk.
“I'll read it while you take a look at the manuscript?!” Ohno offered.
“Why do you read such a pulpy magazine, anyway? You're an author. Don't you have a certain demand for good writing?” he asked then while he handed Ohno the magazine.
“Sometimes, I get an inspiration for my own story from all the stupid things people do,” the author replied and gave Nino his notebook, who grabbed it quickly, obviously wanting to read what Ohno had written.
While Nino drowned himself in the story, Ohno let out a tiny sigh of relief. For now, he had managed to escape Nino's speech. He knew, he wasn't off the hook yet, but Nino was reading right now and then they would talk about the manuscript and maybe, Nino would forget about the chaos in Ohno's house.
Contently, Ohno opened the magazine. He had spent the last days writing, so now he was in the mood to read something simple.
He was greeted by a familiar face on the first page. His mood dropped a little bit. It seemed that the renowned actor Matsumoto Jun had made the headline again – not a positive one, though.
Ohno had liked the man. Even though film critics were saying that his performance was getting worse with every movie he released, Ohno still liked the way he was acting. However, in the past months, Matsumoto Jun only appeared in TV shows and maybe one episode of a drama, but there hadn't been an announcement of a new movie release.
So, there wasn't much to talk about him, except for another accident he had been involved in, yesterday. Matsumoto Jun seemed to have problems to follow the traffic rules as of lately.
It was not new that celebrities seemed to be of the opinion that traffic rules do not apply for them, so Matsumoto Jun was surely not the only one getting into accidents. However, as Ohno had to realize after reading the article, the actor didn't seem to be much remorseful about the accident that had actually ended with several completely broken cars. The actor had even commented that people should simply get out of his way so he would not crash their cars.
Shaking his head, Ohno turned the page. He really hoped for the young man that there would be something that would change his mind and make him aware of the important things around him.
~ . ~
“Okay, let's get over this, quickly. I have better things to do!” the man said when he entered the room.
Aiba, who did not intend to rush this, at all, eyed the man in front of him.
“Look, I am only here because Sho forced me to,” the man went on, taking the seat opposite of Aiba. “Personally, I think this is just a waste of time.”
It was not the first time Aiba was confronted with such a belief and instead of being offended, he thought of it as rather amusing, because he knew that they would be thankful to him in the end.
“I'm grateful you were able to make time for our appointment anyway, Mr. Matsumoto,” he therefore answered with a bright smile.
He only received a growl as an answer while the man in front of him crossed his arms, leaning back into his comfortable chair.
“Mr. Sakurai is very concerned about you, so he asked me if it would be possible to talk to you,” Aiba went on. Upon hearing his manager's name, Matsumoto Jun's expression softened.
“I know that Sho is worried. I was frustrated and angry and that's why I didn't take care of the speed limit and the traffic. Despite what I told those reporters that were pressing me for a comment on this, I AM sorry about it,” he said with a slightly less aggressive tone and rubbed his forehead.
Aiba had the feeling the man in front of him was opening up, but a second later, the hard expression was back on his face. “That's what you wanted to hear, right? Can I go now?”
Crooking his neck, Aiba gave the man an intense look.
“I think you misunderstood something, Mr. Matsumoto,” he began. “You are not here because you caused an accident. That's something the police has to investigate. You are here because we have to find out why you are so frustrated.”
The man looked at him as if he had lost his senses.
“Isn't that obvious?! Since a few years I am only getting minor roles in movies or inquiries about stupid guest appearances in stupid TV shows. I want another big role, but somehow, all the directors refuse to work with me. They say that I am not in the right shape to act in one of their movies, that I lack something that I had back then when my movie was a huge success.”
The actor was obviously furious, but Aiba could make out a certain helplessness in the man's voice. However, they were on the right track now. He only had to push his patient a little bit further.
“And why do you think you cannot deliver what they are yearning for?” he therefore asked.
“Aren't you suppose to tell me that?” the actor shot back, pouting like a little child.
“I can only help you to find it out,” Aiba answered. It has always been his method to make people realize by themselves what went wrong in their life instead of telling them, because in his opinion, one could only get out of a situation if one was aware of the problems.
“See, I already told Sho. It doesn't make sense to visit a psychologist. They are no help at all. Goodbye, Mr. Aiba!”
The actor stood up forcefully and marched out of the room without another look at the doctor. Aiba gave him the credit that it was a pretty dramatic exit, so maybe that guy wasn't such a bad actor.
However, his patient was pretty much in a desperate situation, though there was not much Aiba could do right now if the actor was refusing him.
Maybe, Sho, who was Aiba's childhood friend and the manager of Mr. Matsumoto was able to push the man onto the right track. He had asked the psychologist to call him when his session with Jun had been over to let him know about his findings.
His friend picked up after the first ringing.
“It's only been five minutes...,” he started. “Don't tell me he already left?!”
Aiba chuckled.
“He is indeed gone,” he informed his friend.
“Oh noooooo!” Sho groaned in frustration. “I told him to at least give this a chance. Seriously, I don't know what to do with him anymore. I can't reach him lately...”
“Calm down, Sho-chan. I've only just started to talk to him though I have a hunch why he is in such a bad condition.”
The silence on the other end of the phone indicated to Aiba that his friend had absolutely no idea.
“I think he is set on this wish of getting another big role in a movie too much. It puts a lot of pressure on him, makes him insecure in the auditions and adds to his frustration if he gets another refusal.”
“But he isn't a bad actor, at all. He just cannot show it right now,” Sho gave back.
“His exit out of my office was quite dramatic, indeed,” Aiba chuckled. “However, he will only get even more grimly determined on getting another big role the more refusals he gets, which, in reverse, will prevent him from showing his real talent. It's a vicious circle.”
Sho took a few seconds to grab what Aiba was saying before he spoke again.
“What can I do about it?”
“The best would be to convince him to take a break, to do something different from acting,” Aiba said thoughtfully.
“He won't agree on that. He is too much set on another successful movie,” Sho gave back, sighing.
“That's why I want him to realize this by himself. It won't be effective if we tell him or even force him to stop. He has to make this decision by himself and this will take some time,” the doctor explained.
“I only want him to be happy,” Sho replied thoughtfully and Aiba felt like patting him on his shoulder.
“I know, Sho-chan. It's still a long way to go for him, though I am sure with the right people on his side, he can do it. You have always been his alley and I ask you to continue to support him.”
“Of course, I will do that. However, I don't think we can go on like this for much longer. Either Jun injures himself in another accident or causes another negative incident, so I won't get any job offers for him at all,” the manager said urgently.
“I will think of something!” Aiba gave back, his mind already starting to scheme. “Leave this up to me!”
Sho had no other option that to agree. Aiba also asked him to carefully find out if Jun could imagine trying something new or at least take a break from acting. Maybe Jun needed a tiny push into this direction simply to get his brain thinking about the possibility.
~ . ~
Jun sighed. He hated it when Sho was like that.
“Okay, tell me that I have done something stupid and that it's not helpful for my career,” he demanded to end the silence in the car.
Sho pressed his lips together, but Jun knew that his comment would get him to talk.
“I don't think it would make any difference if I told you or not. You went ahead and called the TV show master an idiot before it could dawn to you that it would indeed be bad for your career!” Sho replied sourly.
“I'm sorry!” Jun gave back, really meaning it, and stopped the car at the red traffic light.
Sho ran his hand through his hair and sighed deeply.
“Jun, I have serious problems to get ANY job for you already, so I really don't know if there will be something for you after this incident.”
“I know. I am sorry. I promise you to definitely take the next job, whatever it is, and do it perfectly!” Jun said and started the car again after the light turned green.
“Every job?” Sho asked and Jun got the sudden feeling that he didn't like the direction in which their conversation was heading.
“I already told you that I am an actor. I don't want to host a stupid radio show,” he made clear once again.
“I am not talking about a radio show,” his manager replied and Jun felt relieved.
“But they are looking for a costume designer for the new Asadora and since you are quite fond of clothes and styling I thought you might help out...,” Sho went on, pushing his luck.
“NO!” Jun yelled, feeling the anger rising up.
“But maybe you can get another view on the production of a movie,” Sho tried to defend his idea.
“I don't want another view,” Jun made clear.
“I know it's something different than standing in front of the camera but it gives you the chance to take a little break from acting and still stay in the industry...”
“I don't need a break from acting!” Jun shouted, ignoring the honking of the car, which had the priority of traffic but had to stop because of Jun. “I am just not in the right shape at the moment but I will be able to show my skills soon.”
“I am convinced you will be able to do this but in the meantime, you could maybe try something else until you're back in shape,” Sho offered while at the same time he tried to calm Jun down.
“I don't want to do something else. I want to act in a movie, see my face on the big screen, hear the press praising my performance as they did with “Gone by the wind”,” the actor gave back forcefully, his foot pressing down on the accelerator.
“"Gone by the wind” was indeed a masterpiece”, Sho agreed. “However, sometimes it is hard to outdo something that has been perfect.”
“So you're saying that I will never be able to give such a performance again,” Jun said between gritted teeth.
“I am not,” Sho gave back, trying to bite back his own anger about Jun's stubbornness. “I am only saying that you have been a really young, inexperienced actor when you made this movie and were able to act freely without having to meet any expectations. I think this was the key to your success. So maybe, now you need to take a little break from acting, calm down and then start anew.”
Jun felt his blood rushing through his veins. Everything Sho said made sense, but he didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to admit that a break would indeed help him. He wanted to have one more grand role on the big screen!
“I don't want to take a break,” he said, repeating himself. “Once you're gone, you never come back. I cannot live without acting. I have nothing else in my life,” Jun felt himself on the verge of crying, taking less care of things around him, especially the traffic.
“Jun, calm down. I am not putting a ban on you or something. I just thought that it might help you,” Sho tried to reassure him.
“I don't want to be a costume designer!” Jun said once more, his sight becoming blurry from the tears that had formed in his eyes.
“Alright! I got it! I will try to find another role in a movie for you, so please slow down now,” Sho went on with a soothing voice that couldn't hide a little fear upon Jun's speed.
“I am an actor! I AM AN ACTOR! I...”
Suddenly, a car came from the right. Jun hadn't seen it and when he tapped the break, it was already too late. The car crashed into his front side, causing his head to smash into the side window. He could hear Sho scream something before his vision turned black...
~ . ~
Aiba was just about to leave his practice when the phone rang. He was shortly tempted to ignore it, but his sense of responsibility towards his patients made him turn around and walk back to his desk. Maybe one of his patients was in need of help.
“Sunshine Clinic, Doctor Aiba speaking?!” he greeted whoever there was on the other side.
“Aiba?!” he heard his friend's nervous voice.
“Sho-chan? What's wrong?” Aiba could feel his heart speeding up in fear. His friend seldom sounded that anxious.
“I'm at the hospital right now,” Sho explained and the doctor gasped.
“Are you okay? What happened?” he wanted to know immediately.
“We had an accident, but I'm fine,” Sho answered and Aiba sighed with relief. “I only have a slight bruise on my arm. I am not the problem, here. It's Jun.”
Another wave of fear hit Aiba. He had only met the man once and their encounter hadn't been the nicest one, but he didn't want anything to happen to this man, partly because he knew how much Jun meant to Sho as a friend.
“What happened to Jun?” he therefore asked carefully, praying that the answer wouldn't be a too bad one.
“Physically, he is fine. He has a bruise on his forehead, but other than that, he is fine. However, he has no idea who he is. He seems to have lost his memory.”
“Poor Jun,” Aiba commented and was relieved that his patient at least was physically more or less okay. Also, he wasn't too troubled by the mental problem, amnesia after an accident wasn't unusual. Furthermore, it could actually turn out to be something helpful concerning Jun's therapy.
“I don't know what to do now. What am I going to tell Jun?” Sho went on desperately. He seemed to be really concerned about the whole situation, so Aiba needed to make sure that his friend wouldn't do anything hasty now.
“For now, wait for me please. I will make one more call before I'll come to you and we can work something out. It'll be fine, Sho-chan. Don't worry! Just wait for me, okay?”
It seemed that his friend was calming down a bit because when he answered, his voice had lost its desperation.
“Thank you, Ma-chan. Really! I will wait for you!”
“I try to get there as quick as I can,” Aiba promised while he already searched his phone for one specific number. His head had already started to work out a plan...
~ . ~
Ohno had just made himself comfortable on his sofa when his cellphone rang. It wasn't Nino (he had a special ring tone), so he assumed that it was nothing of importance and his documentation about fishes was about to start on TV. However, he hadn't spoken to anyone during the last days because Nino had set another deadline that he made sure was necessary to be met by all means. So Ohno had been writing non-stop, finishing his chapter even ahead of the deadline while he had neglected his social contacts completely.
It might be a good idea to talk to someone, hence he picked up the call.
“Oh-chan~~~!”
The cheerful voice resounded in his ear and Ohno had to grin immediately. He only had one friend that was always in such a good mood.
“Hi Masaki,” he responded the greeting (not as cheerful, but nicely surprised – they hadn't talked in a while).
“Ah, I'm glad you remember me,” the man on the other end laughed.
“Of course!”
Ohno was quite fond of that cheerful man who he had gotten to know during a research for one of his books. He had written about an emotionally disturbed person and since he had no idea how their mind worked, he had looked for an expert in this field. Aiba was the only one who was ready to take time for a talk with the writer without payment and they had spent quite some time together.
In the end, the book had become a huge success and was praised for its realistic approach to the human mind. Ohno had always mentioned that amazing doctor in his interviews who had helped him a lot during the writing process although Aiba had told him that it was not necessary.
They had stayed in contact afterwards and called each other once in a while. It was never awkward to talk to Aiba, no matter how much time had passed between their calls. The man was the perfect partner for conversations with his cheerful way of life
“Perfect! Say, Oh-chan, how are things going?”
“As usual,” Ohno gave back while stretching out on the sofa, resting his head on his arm. “Nino keeps on pestering me to meet my deadlines, so I don't have much time for fishing or other stuff. I didn't go out for the last days because I had to finish a chapter,” he went on, complaining a bit because he knew Aiba would not see it as whining.
“Sounds tough,” the doctor indeed pitied him. “So, no sight of a partner yet if you're so busy?” he wanted to know.
Ohno chuckled. He would feel slightly ashamed of anyone asking this question except for Aiba.
“Nope, none at all. It's only Nino entering my house once in a while.”
“What a sad life, Oh-chan. Seriously!”
“I know, I know,” the writer sighed. He wouldn't have anything against someone warming his bed or massaging his aching neck after a long writing session, but there was absolutely no time to look for someone and, if he was being honest, the spare time he had, he'd rather spend on his little boat than in a café trying to get to know someone.
“I guess I am doomed to stay alone,” he added jokingly.
“Don't say that Oh-chan,” the doctor tried to cheer him up.
“I'm fine with it,” Ohno gave back, meaning it (mostly).
“No, I actually need you to let someone stay at your house,” the doctor went on, his voice as natural and cheerful as if he was just talking about the weather. “Your house is big and I am sure you could need a helping hand in the household.”
“Wait, wait! I cannot simply let a stranger into my house!”
Ohno had sat up during these words. As much as he liked Aiba for his friendly and cheerful way, he feared him for getting what he wanted – no matter how. This man would not accept a “no” if he had set his mind on something.
“He won't think you're strangers. He lost his memory and I will tell him you're his husband,” the doctor went on.
“I am not married!”
Ohno seriously began to worry. Things were getting out of hand here.
“Of course, you're not. Otherwise this would turn into a real chaos,” the doctor sounded really understanding. “It'll do you good to have someone around you as well. You're alone with your computer or your boat the whole day. You also need social contact – and physical contact as well,” Aiba chuckled.
“But I don't know anything about this man,” Ohno tried again.
“Oh, he's quite your type. Tall and handsome, maybe a bit vain, but I am sure you can handle that. I will come by with him next week when he's released from the hospital. Maybe you can clean up a bit, at least,” the doctor informed him without waiting for his consent.
“Aiba, I ...”
“Thank you, Oh-chan. You're such a treasure. I'll let you know more details via LINE. See you!”
The line went dead, indicating that Aiba had cut the call, leaving Ohno with his overwhelmed thoughts. He could not simply act as the husband to someone he had never seen before. What was Aiba thinking? He would call him tomorrow again and cancel all of this. There was no way he would do it!
~ . ~
Jun was fidgeting in his seat, looking out of the car window, trying to figure out if ANYTHING looked familiar to him, but his brain didn't send any signal of recollection.
He hated it – this feeling of not knowing who you are. Ever since he had woken up in this hospital, he felt insecure and overall completely overwhelmed by all those people around him that seemed to know him, although he had no idea who THEY were.
And the worst thing was that he could not remember his own husband at all. He would have sworn that he didn't have one but his attending psychologist was insisting on the fact that he was married and living together with an author. It had taken Jun quite some time to ask of his name because he was convinced that he should remember the name of the person he was in love with (which he was, as Aiba, his psychologist, was hinting all the time).
Now, he was about to meet Ohno, his husband. According to Aiba he had been on a trip overseas and although he had really wanted to come back earlier and visit Jun in the hospital, his manager, who was really strict, had not let him go and forced him to finish his work.
To be honest, Jun had been relieved upon hearing that he had a few more days before he'd meet his husband. He had no idea who this man was and thinking of having to hug, kiss or get intimate with someone, he had no recollection of was causing Jun to panic. What if he didn't feel anything towards that man when they met? What if he didn't like him?
Such thoughts had been running through his head those past days, although Aiba had tried his best to calm him down, reassuring him that this Ohno guy was a sweet and humble man, he couldn't stop getting worried.
“Oh-chan is already super excited to see you again,” Aiba said from the front and smiled at Jun. “He told me, he can't wait to have you back.”
Although Jun knew that Aiba just wanted to cheer him up, it only added to his tension. What if his husband expected him to go on with their life as it was before the accident? Jun had no idea how they managed their daily life, especially not minor details like what Ohno liked to eat or if he was the cuddly type of man or not.
Suddenly, he felt Aiba's hand on his, stopping his fingers from kneading.
“Don't worry so much. Oh-chan knows about your condition and although he was shocked about it at first, he promised to do everything to make you feel comfortable,” he said as if he had read Jun's thoughts. “And even if I assume that he can be quite demanding when it comes to fulfilling his needs, he won't push you, I am sure about that,” he added and with a last comforting pressure on Jun's hand, he took his own back to the steering wheel.
Jun felt himself blush. Of course, he was worrying about this – a lot more than about other things, to be honest. He only hoped that Aiba was right and that Ohno would not want to “celebrate their reunion” tonight.
Maybe he was overreacting. If Ohno was indeed that gentle man Aiba was describing the whole time, there shouldn't be anything to worry about. Of course, they would need some time to get back to their old life, but they love each other, so they surely would manage this.
“We're nearly there,” Aiba informed him a few minutes later. Clinging to his positive thoughts, Jun took a deep breath.
When the psychologist stopped the car in front of a big, modern house, Jun pressed his lips together in determination. This was his home, the place where he had led a happy life until now and he should be glad to be able to come back to.
Jun followed Aiba out of the car towards the front gate. He was making powerful, determined steps, mostly to give himself a push and make sure he wouldn't turn around again.
Aiba closed the gate behind them, giving Jun some time to take in the house and its garden. Then, he put his hand on Jun's shoulder and pressed it softly while they made their way towards the door.
Before they even reached it, it suddenly opened and a man appeared.
He was smaller than Jun and had a slender, but trained figure. His hair was brownish, the front hair combed back in a slight wave, making it look really fluffy. He was wearing jeans that fitted nicely and a black shirt, slightly too big, as Jun noticed. His cheeks looked ready to be pinched while his lips were shimmering slightly as if he had added some lip balm. His eyes were brown and were looking straight at Jun, not unfriendly, though.
“Welcome back, Jun!”
His voice had a soft tone to it and its warmth ran like a shiver over Jun's back.
He had to admit that, as Aiba had promised, this man was completely his type, looking awesome and he obviously seemed to be a really nice guy.
However, he could not remember him, at all.
~ . ~
Sho was pacing his living room, waiting for Aiba's call.
He had told him that he was against his idea of making Jun believe that he was that author's husband. It just didn't feel right to betray his friend like this. Still, Aiba insisted on his plan and no matter what Sho said, he wanted to go through with it, convinced it was for Jun's best.
Maybe, Aiba was even right. At least, Jun was taking a break from acting right now. Maybe he could fill his batteries and when his memory comes back, he'd be able to act like he did before.
However, IF Jun's memory would come back, he'd be angry – very angry! At Sho! And he would need to have an extraordinarily good explanation ready, of why he had agreed to all of this. He would think of that later, though.
For now, he was more worried about how Jun was coping with getting to know his husband. Aiba had assured Sho that Ohno was the most gentle person in this world and that he would never take advantage of this situation in any way. Sho knew he could trust Aiba on that. This man had an excellent nose when it came to judging people.
Still, he couldn't imagine how Jun was feeling – having no recollection of anything at all and being brought to a complete stranger without anyone by his side. His friend must be desperate, maybe even scared and Sho could do nothing at all to help him.
Aiba had even banned him from coming with them because he was worried that Sho might do something stupid, blowing the whole made-up scenario. However, he had promised Sho to call when he had left from Ohno's again.
Sho forced himself to sit down on his sofa only to get up a few seconds later again to get himself a glass of water in the kitchen.
He nearly overheard the ringing of his cellphone because of the noise the water was making, but sprinted back to the living room when he finally heard it.
“Aiba?!”
“Hi Sho! How are you?” the cheerful voice of his friend resounded on the other end.
“I am feeling terrible. My friend is staying at a stranger's house with no memory at all and I allowed it. I am really the worst friend in this whole universe!”
He heard Aiba chuckle.
“You're the very best friend one could have because you are giving Jun the chance to start a whole new life with no pressure and no expectations. He will be able to be carefree from now on,” the doctor said friendly and Sho nearly started to believe him.
“So does he like that author?” he wanted to know.
“I think he does. He was looking at him with appreciation,” Aiba informed him. “He was careful around the house, but he didn't seem to mind too much staying there,” he went on.
“So he didn't ask you to take him back with you?” Sho wanted to make sure.
“No, he didn't. He walked me to the car but only thanked me for the ride before he went back, taking his place right beside Ohno to wave me off,” the doctor went on.
“I see,” Sho only replied, seriously hoping that Jun was alright.
“I know that you are worried about Jun but I can only repeat what I already told you. Oh-chan won't harm him in any way, I promise!”
“But what kind of man is this who lets a complete stranger into his house and acts as his husband?” Sho asked, having wondered about this the whole time.
“I didn't leave him much of a chance to refuse,” Aiba laughed and Sho nearly started to pity the man. He knew how convincing Aiba could be. “It's a new situation for both of them but they are grown-up men and I am sure that they will manage this. Leave them some time and you'll see that my plan will work out!”
Sho only sighed once more. He knew he could trust Aiba although he wasn't too fond of his drastic way of doing things. However, he had calmed a bit down after hearing that Jun seemed to be fine. He would text him later because after all he was still Jun's friend and Jun had relied a lot on him these past days asking Sho tons of questions about his life.
Sho was slightly disgusted of himself by how great of a liar he was, being able to tell Jun all those details without batting an eyelid. Still, Jun was grateful and had accepted Sho quickly as his best friend in his new life.
“Alright,” he finally agreed. “Thank you!”
“You're welcome, Sho! We'll talk soon!”
With that, they cut the call, Sho trying to stay positive. He was seriously hoping for Jun that Aiba's plan would work out. He really wanted the best for his friend and Aiba's comment on “Not a lot of people are given the chance to experience life from a different perspective without being influenced by their former way of living” seemed to make more and more sense to him.
For now, he could only keep his fingers crossed and take care of all those press releases concerning Jun taking a break from acting.
~ . ~
Ohno was sitting at his kitchen table, a cup of coffee in front of him, when he heard steps on the stairs, indicating that his “husband” was making his way downstairs.
He felt a rush of panic coming over him. Yesterday evening had been awkward enough but had ended quite quickly with Jun declaring that he was tired and wanted to got to bed. He had guided the man to their bedroom, showing him all of his clothes (that Aiba and Sho had brought a few days earlier) as well as the bathroom. After that, he left Jun to himself and when he finally decided to go to bed as well, Jun was already sleeping (or pretending to be asleep).
Ohno had not slept very well. He was not used to have someone next to him in bed, so he had laid pretty stiff in his bed, making sure not to hit Jun accidentally. Furthermore, his brain kept on telling him that it was completely wrong what he was doing, because no matter how nicely Aiba had tried to put it, they were betraying this completely innocent man and Ohno hated to be part of it.
“Good morning,” Jun said shyly, appearing in the door frame, pulling the author out of his thoughts.
“Good morning,” Ohno replied, forcing himself to smile to reassure Jun that everything was alright (although NOTHING was alright). “Did you sleep well?”
Ohno could see that Jun was fighting if he should tell the truth or not, so he quickly tried to rescue him.
“Of course, not. What a stupid question. It must have been hard for you to sleep in a bed next to a man you don't remember,” he said and gestured Jun to sit down on the kitchen table as well.
“I am sorry,” Jun began to apologise.
“No, you don't have to be,” Ohno quickly intervened, scolding himself for making Jun feel the need to apologise for something. “I can only imagine how you must feel having lost every memory, having to rely on others to tell you who you are...”
He realized that Jun was looking at him intensely and wondered if he had said something wrong.
“Aiba was right,” Jun began and Ohno seriously began to worry about what Aiba might have told the other man. “You are really gentle.”
The author felt his cheeks blushing while he was relieved that Aiba seemed to have put in a good word for him.
“I'm trying my best,” Ohno gave back with a shy smile.
“I am sure, I will get used to our life soon – but I fear I have to rely on your help,” Jun went on, thankfully taking the cup of coffee that Ohno had just brewed him.
“Of course, I will do everything possible to make it comfortable for you here. Hence, I am willing to answer all of your questions. You can ask me anything,” the author promised, hoping he was not going out on a limb with this.
“Thank you so much,” Jun said, the look on his face completely relieved. “Would it be okay to ask the first questions now? I mean, if you don't have to write now or anything?”
“I finished my chapter already and my manager will only come tomorrow to check upon it, so I am free the whole day,” Ohno let the other man know and felt a bolt of happiness upon seeing Jun's face light up.
“That sounds fantastic,” the man exclaimed. “So...” he started and seemed to think about his first question. “How do we do it?”
Ohno's eyes popped open. He hadn't expected such a direct question to be the first one.
“Um... we... um... are quite cuddly and...,” he began to stutter while Jun looked at him expectantly. “And we… kiss a lot...”
Ohno knew that his cheeks were totally pink right now and that he was fidgeting in his seat.
“I like cuddling and kissing,” Jun stated. “At least, I think I do...,” he added then, thoughtfully.
“You do,” Ohno quickly replied, nodding, hoping that Jun would be alright with his answer for now.
“But doing house work might become quite problematic if we get distracted all the time,” Jun grinned.
“Hu?”
Now Ohno felt like his cheeks were flaming hot. Did Jun really think they would do IT so often that there was no time for doing the housework?!
“I mean, wouldn't it be better to divide the tasks so we can concentrate on them and when we're done with everything we can cuddle... and kiss?” Jun suggested.
Slowly, it dawned to Ohno that Jun was not talking about THIS, but rather about how they are organizing their household and their daily life. He slapped himself mentally before he tried to rescue the situation.
“Actually, you were doing most of the housework because I had deadlines to meet and all...,” he began.
“I see,” Jun laughed. “So it was YOU who distracted ME from work!”
Ohno felt himself starting to grin as well.
“I suppose most of the time it was like that,” he chuckled. “Though, sometimes you could be quite distracting too, so I got into trouble with meeting the deadline,” he went on inventing their daily life, realizing that it was actual quite funny.
“Me?” Jun grinned and wriggled his eyebrows and Ohno suddenly felt as if it really had always been like that because Jun was so carefree and uncomplicated.
“Yep, you!” the author gave back, pointing at Jun, trying to look determined although he knew that he was failing.
They kept on grinning at each other before their whole situation dawned to them again and their laughter died slowly.
“Was it always like this?” Jun asked after some minutes of silence.
Ohno looked up, taking in the pretty, but forlorn face of the man sitting opposite of him.
“Always!”
~ . ~
“Now, tell me how you came to him,” Nino said and crossed his arms.
“You make him sound like a pet,” Ohno complained but his expression showed that he didn't really want to talk about it because he knew that he was doing something “not so good”.
Ohno had texted Nino before that he got himself a husband but he had left out the details and only asked Nino to act along when he came over to check upon the next chapter. He had done what he had been asked for, but now he wanted to know what was going on.
“To me it sounds like you got yourself one,” Nino shot back, looking challengingly at the author.
“It's not like that,” Ohno defended himself before he told his manager everything. Jun had gone out doing the groceries at a nearby store that Ohno had showed him the day before, so the didn't need to worry about him overhearing their conversation.
The more Nino heard about the whole situation, how Ohno got himself into it and what was his part in treating Jun, the more absurd he thought of the whole thing appeared to him.
“And you don't feel bad in any way fooling that poor guy?” he finally wanted to know.
“Of course, I do!” Ohno shot back. “But what shall I do? He's here now. I cannot step out of it after Jun finally found a place he can call his home.”
Nino's mouth dropped open. He had considered Ohno as maybe a little incurious but not a dumb person. The author should know that it was not a right thing to do to fool this actor like that. And now he was even considering the feelings of that man he only knew since one day now.
“First of all, you shouldn't have gotten yourself into this,” Nino began to scold him, “and second, why do you care what happens to that man?”
“Because he's nice and he deserves a nice place to stay. He had quite some troubles in his life before the accident and Aiba told me that he needed a chance to start his life anew. Don't you think anyone deserves a new start?”
Nino raised his eyebrow. It's seldom that he had seen the author that emotional. Could it be that he really cared for that man?
“Of course, I do. However, it might be better to not lead him on like this,” he insisted.
“I know what you mean, Nino. I really do,” Ohno agreed. “However, maybe he needs this drastic approach to come to terms with himself and get his life back together again. He seems to enjoy it here.”
“He seems to enjoy it or YOU do enjoy it?” Nino asked, already having figured out what was going on.
“You always complained that it looks terrible in this house and that I don't eat properly. Now that I finally have someone to take care of that, you don't like it either,” Ohno gave back, pouting, a measure he only used when he was running out of arguments.
“I rather have a problem with the circumstances,” Nino gave back.
The author continued pouting and Nino knew that this meant the end of their discussion. Also, it wouldn't make much sense to push this further. The man was here now, nothing could be done about that anymore and if Ohno enjoyed his presence, the better. He was living quite isolated from people after all, so a bit of human contact might do him some good. Also, the plushy slippers that Jun had bought him yesterday were really comfortable.
There was just one thing that he hoped Ohno had taken into consideration as well.
“What if he finds out?”
Ohno, who had stopped pouting, sighed.
“I asked Aiba about that as well and he said we'll try to think of a solution when it happens,” the author said.
“Smooth,” Nino commented. “Because with a high possibility he won't be the one who's there when Jun finds out.”
Ohno sighed. “I know! But there is also the possibility that Jun never regains his memory...”
“As well as the possibility that he'll find out any moment. You're bringing yourself into trouble, I tell you.”
“Yeah,” was the only thing Ohno replied to that and Nino began to think that Ohno might consider this trouble as endurable.
Before he could press Ohno for more comments on this though, they were being interrupted.
“I'm back~”
“Please, Nino, trust me on this,” Ohno whispered and stood up, ready to greet his husband.
“I will, as long as you finish this book in time,” Nino replied and grinned. He could see that the author was really relieved upon hearing this, so Nino decided to keep all his doubts to himself for now and keep on watching over the whole situation to intervene if necessary.
They went down into the kitchen and Nino was getting really excited to see the man Ohno would take such a risk for. (He had seen pictures of him, but he wanted to get to know him in person).
Matsumoto Jun was indeed very good looking and he had obviously already taken over the kitchen, storing everything he bought in the fridge or the respective cupboards.
Ohno quickly introduced the two men to each other and despite what one had heard about the actor Matsumoto Jun, the man was friendly and polite.
“You know what happened to me in the supermarket?” Jun asked after they had exchanged a few conventional phrases.
“No, tell me!” Ohno answered, looking at him expectantly.
“There was an old woman who asked me if I was an actor,” Jun went on and Ohno's eyes popped open. “She even mentioned the title of a movie – "Gone with the wind" or something it was.”
By now the author had turned completely white and was starring at Jun. He seemed to be in no condition to save this situation. Sighing internally, Nino quickly went to rescue.
“Yeah, they often mistake you for him,” he said casually, moving over to Ohno. “But you don't like it very much if someone does it,” he went on, giving the author a slight pinch to get him back into action.
“Ah, yeah, you even have the same name so it makes you quite angry so that's why I haven't mentioned it until now,” Ohno jumped in.
Jun seemed to be satisfied with this explanation.
“Funny,” he laughed and turned his attention back to the groceries.
“You really should work on not getting petrified in such situations if you want to keep him,” Nino whispered into the author's ear who nodded and started to relax.
~ . ~
Aiba was waving at the two men one last time before he looked at the street again. Sho next to him on the passenger seat was still looking at them.
“It was a really nice evening,” Aiba stated and moved the car around the corner.
“Indeed,” Sho replied and since the two men were out of sight now, he turned forward as well. “Jun is relaxed and… I think he is happy,” he said after some consideration.
“He seems to be a completely different man than the one I got to know in my office only a few weeks ago,” the psychologist agreed and smiled softly.
He felt Sho looking at him from the side.
“I will not tell you that you are a genius,” he then said stubbornly but Aiba only giggled.
“I'm serious”, Sho went on. “He seems to really like it at Ohno's place. What happens to him if he finds out? If he regains his memory and has to realise that he is currently living a lie? That non of this is real?”
Aiba had to restrain himself to not roll his eyes. He has heard this question a hundred times already, 90 times out of them from Sho.
Of course, it's a fact that one should keep in mind. Nobody would like to find out that he's been lied to for a period of time. However, the most important thing right now was that Jun was feeling good, that he liked his “new” life. Because besides the feeling of being deceived, he would also remember how nice his past weeks (or months, or years) had been.
Aiba was convinced that these feelings of happiness would be stronger than the knowledge that he had been lied to (for his best). Jun had been a man driven against the wall before his accident. Now he was carefree and relaxed. He would most probably want to stay like that.
“I think, Jun will value this experience he has been granted and will draw the right conclusions,” he said, as he had told Sho about 90 times before.
The managed only sighed (as he had also done 90 times before).
They drove for a while and Aiba was quite satisfied with himself. He knew that his method was quite unconventional, but watching Jun and Ohno getting along so well, proved it to be pretty effective.
“What about Ohno?” Sho suddenly interrupted the silence.
Aiba glanced at the man next to him. This question was a new one.
“What about him?” he gave back, earning himself an unnerved sigh from Sho.
“What happens to him if Jun finds out? I mean, he doesn't mind having him in the house and obviously, he likes to be close to him,” Sho talked about his observations. “Won't he be sad when Jun is gone?”
Aiba had to congratulate Sho in his mind. He was getting good at interpreting human emotions.
“Maybe, he can stay a part of Jun's life, then,” the psychologist voiced his thoughts.
“I don't think Jun would like to talk to him afterwards. In his eyes, Ohno might be the one who betrayed him the most – faking a marriage and all,” Sho pointed out.
“Maybe,” Aiba only said.
Of course, he couldn't predict Jun's reactions at all, but he had a hunch that it wouldn't be as bad as Sho was picturing it right now. However, he didn't want to lean too far out of the window, so he rather stayed vague upon this matter.
“But his Spare Ribs were really delicious,” he changed the topic because Sho could be quite persistent when he wanted. “I didn't know he is such a great cook!”
Luckily, the other man jumped in.
“Jun has always liked to cook. He has a lot of cooking books at home and he had loves to invite his friends over for dinner, trying out new recipes. But recently, he couldn't find the motivation to cook. I am glad he started again.”
Sho finally smiled at Aiba.
“Then, he's completely right at Oh-chan's place because that guy can only cook Cha-Han and fish soup,” Aiba laughed and Sho joined him shortly after.
~ . ~
Humming, Jun put the groceries, he just bought, in the fridge. He wanted to make Curry for dinner today, because it was one of Ohno's favourites.
He could already picture his husband taking the first bite, closing his eyes while chewing. He would open them again, look at Jun with this soft expression, and praise him for the tasty food.
Jun would tell him that it is just Curry and that it was nothing special, but Ohno would insist that it tastes better than the last time where it had already been overly delicious and then he would smile at him again. Jun loved those smiles. They caused his heart to beat faster while a comforting warmth was spreading through his chest, making him feel all bubbly.
Moments like these happened quite often lately. Whenever Ohno was smiling at him or praising him for keeping the house in such a perfect condition, he would feel warm all over, well, happy.
He assumed that it had been like that before his accident as well and he has relieved that his feelings for his husband had come back to him that quickly. He had been worrying what kind of man he had fallen in love with, but now that he got to know Ohno better over the past two months, he was sure he couldn't have found anyone better than this gentle and sweet man.
In addition, more often than not, he felt the need of getting physically closer to his husband – which was only natural because they must have done that before, obviously. Ohno had said they were cuddly. However, he hadn't shown any attempt to hug Jun or take his hand.
Ohno was probably just thinking that Jun needed more time, but to be honest, he didn't. He wanted to touch Ohno so badly that it nearly hurt. But what if Ohno was getting doubts about all this? What if he didn't want to touch Jun anymore now that he was “broken”? His fear of getting rejected by Ohno was too big to try anything, so Jun kept on living with his suppressed feelings.
Anyway, he would cook Ohno's favourite curry today and that would at least earn him one of those beautiful smiles.
“Jun?”
Ohno's voice resounded in the house. He had been trying to finish his chapter today and it seemed like he had succeeded.
“In the kitchen,” he informed his husband.
He heard Ohno coming into the kitchen and closed the fridge.
“Did you finish the chapter?” he asked.
Ohno stretched like a cat and nodded.
“Yes, I am done. And this time before the deadline, again. That's all thanks to you!”
Jun's eyes popped open.
“Thanks to me?”
Ohno nodded.
“Yes. You do so much around the house that I only have to concentrate on writing and move along faster than before. And...,” the author added with a grin. “I want to spend the evening with you, so I try to push forward really hard during the day.”
There it was again. That smile, those nice words, the warmth that only Ohno was able to cause.
“I want to support you,” Jun said shyly.
“You do so much for me,” the author began again and moved closer to Jun. “I really want to thank you.”
Jun waved him off and opened his mouth to tell Ohno that he was exaggerating but the author indicated him to let him go on speaking.
“That's why today I decided that you don't have to cook. We will go out!”
Jun looked at Ohno in surprise.
“But I really don't mind cooking for you,” he set straight. “We don't have to eat out. I even already bought all the ingredients for today,” he went on.
“They will be still good tomorrow,” the author decided. “Don't misunderstand me, Jun. I really REALLY love your cooking. It's always tasty! However, I also think that you deserve a break.”
“I am fine,” Jun said. He didn't want his husband to think that he was not capable of doing all the work.
“I know you are, but you are doing so much work around the house that I really want to thank you for that. So please, let me take you out for dinner today,” Ohno pleaded.
Jun finally understood that Ohno really meant well for him and was not thinking of Jun as incapable of doing the housework.
“Well, then, I need to get dressed,” he said and felt all bubbly inside.
This was the first time the two of them went out like this – it was something like a date! Of course, they had had a lot of dates before, but since Jun could not remember any of them, he was excited for this one now. So, what was he going to wear?
~ . ~
It had been an awesome evening. Ohno had brought Jun to a posh restaurant with expensive but amazing food.
After two glasses of wine, Jun had finally found the courage to ask Ohno about how they got to know each other, learning that it had been a friend who introduced them to each other. According to Ohno, things went smoothly from then on, them quickly becoming a happy couple.
It was nice to hear “old stories” and although he had no memory of them, Jun could picture himself and Ohno clearly in his mind.
After the meal, they decided to take a little walk. Since the restaurant was located at the harbour, they walked along the water, the lights of the street lanterns reflecting in it.
At some point, Ohno had reached for Jun's hand, causing Jun's heart to race in his chest, while happiness bubbled through his body. He enjoyed the feeling of Ohno's slender hands in his own. Furthermore, he was relieved that his husband had obviously not lost the will to touch him.
“After our first big fight, we had our date here at this place,” Ohno suddenly told him.
Jun couldn't believe his ears.
“We fought?” he asked astonished. He simply couldn't imagine fighting with his husband. Ohno was always calm and gentle.
“All couples do,” Ohno reminded him.
“I can't believe it,” Jun gave back. “Even now, I think we will never fight.”
Ohno smiled sadly.
“I guess one day we will fight, no matter how well we work right now,” he said, looking over the wide ocean.
“But we will make up again, right? We always have, right?” Jun simply didn't want to think about having to fight with Ohno.
“We could never stay angry at each other for too long,” Ohno agreed. “Mostly, because we couldn't keep away from each other,” he added and grinned.
“We could keep away from each other quite long right now,” Jun gave back and felt Ohno looking at him.
“I thought you might need more ti-,” Ohno started.
“I don't!”
Jun really wanted his husband to know that he was ready for more. Not just holding hands, which was nice, but more!
“I see,” Ohno just said and Jun lost all his courage that he somehow had found in the last minute.
“I mean, if you don't want to, you don't have to. I know it's not easy with me right now and...,” Jun went on, trying to rescue the weird situation.
“Don't be silly,” Ohno interrupted him. “There is nothing I would like to do more!”
With this, Jun felt himself being pulled into his husband's arms, their faces moving automatically closer to each other.
The moment their lips met, Jun felt a spark going through his body. It felt like their first kiss, which it actually was, kind of, because Jun couldn't remember the other one.
With his body on fire, Jun pressed himself closer to Ohno and enjoyed the warm wetness on his lips. As expected, his husband was a perfect kisser, so it took a while before they pulled apart.
They grinned sheepishly at each other.
“Has it always been like this?” Jun asked, the question having become some sort of joke between those two.
“No,” Ohno said. “It has never been as wonderful as today!”
And Jun melted in Ohno's arms.
~ . ~
It was the next day after their first kiss (and Ohno was still dreaming about it) when his cellphone rang, indicating Sho as the caller.
Usually, Sho would call Jun and they'd talk ages, so the author started to wonder if something was wrong.
“Hi,” he therefore picked up the call quickly.
“Hello,” Sho replied the greeting.
“Jun is out shopping with Aiba right now,” Ohno informed Sho, assuming that the man couldn't go through to Jun on his cellphone and was hence calling him.
“I wanted to speak to you,” the man on the other side made clear.
Ohno quickly searched his brain if he had done something wrong because Sho had always been a bit sceptical when it came to him. He could understand that though, Sho was Jun's friend, after all, and only worried.
“It's about your kiss,” Sho went on and Ohno could feel a little blush creeping up his cheeks. Why did Sho know about it? Did Jun tell him?
He felt slightly embarrassed by the thought that Sho knew about their kiss and he hoped that Jun didn't share too many details with his friend.
“A photographer saw you and recorded it,” Sho went on. So it hadn't been Jun telling him about it. However, Ohno had not thought for one moment about Jun being actually known when they had walked along the water and shared a kiss.
“The picture has gained quite some publicity,” he was being told and started to scold himself for being that careless. “I managed to calm people down with a few announcements and I don't think they'll show it on TV, but maybe you can keep Jun from watching anything for the next two days.”
Ohno's heartbeat had started to go up in the past minute Sho had been talking. He was angry at himself for being so stupid and kissing Jun in public and creating a possibility of Jun finding out about their lie. He wanted to spend some more time with Jun, especially after their first kiss.
“I am sorry,” he therefore started to apologize. “I will make sure Jun is distracted today,” he then promised but realized after a few seconds that his comment could be misinterpreted. “I don't mean it THAT way,” he quickly tried to rescue the situation but stopped when he heard Sho giggling on the other end.
“Seriously, Ohno, I don't care HOW you distract him as long as Jun doesn't find out about it,” the manager laughed and the author had to smile as well.
To be honest, he hadn't expected Sho to be that supportive. He always had the feeling that the man was not approving him completely as Aiba's choice.
“I will do my best. Thank you so much for telling me,” Ohno said.
“Sure,” the other man gave back and after a few seconds of silence he spoke again. “Jun has become a relaxed person ever since he is living with you and he seems to enjoy life a lot more than he has before. I am really grateful that you could provide him with an environment that is making him happy!”
Ohno was so surprised over the confession that he was speechless for a moment. Obviously, he had been too harsh with his judgement about Sho. The manager might not approve the whole situation over all (what Ohno could completely understand) but he seemed to see that Jun was feeling good, which was the most important fact for Sho.
Furthermore, Ohno had of course realized that Jun was not dreading the circumstances he was living in, but hearing Sho saying that Jun was happy, filled him with joy. He had hoped to make Jun feel comfortable but he had never dared to hope that Jun was enjoying his life with him so much.
“I want Jun to feel good here,” Ohno finally said.
“I know,” Sho gave back softly. “Sometimes, and please don't get me wrong when I am saying that now, sometimes I wish that Jun will never find out about what is actually going on.”
Still a little bit surprised about the sudden sincerity of the other man, Ohno had to agree. Sho wasn't the only one having these thoughts although their base for thinking like that might be slightly different.
“Oh, I don't mean that I want to keep you in this situation forever. I am sure you have imagined your life in a different way, without a false husband and such,” Sho suddenly said, seeming to have realised that Ohno might have interpreted his words in a different way.
“Actually, I don't mind the situation,” Ohno resolved Sho's doubts. He had never told anyone before that he was feeling like this although he knew since a while that he liked having Jun around and was scared about what might happen if Jun regains his memory, one day. However, confiding in Sho, who was still quite a stranger to him, had felt right, just now.
“I see,” the other man gave back. “Then, I will try to silence even the last reporters who are still talking about the photograph so that the risk of Jun stumbling over it is as low as possible.”
Ohno interpreted Sho's comment as an agreement to support him and thanked him again for everything before they cut the call.
He already started to map out a plan on how to keep Jun from watching TV today. Maybe they could cuddle on the sofa and watch a DVD. There might be the chance to steal a few more kisses from those pretty lips of his husband...
~ . ~
When Jun finished reading the last sentence, he realised that his mouth was hanging slightly open. He quickly closed it before he put the last page back on the staple of paper that was lying next to him.
He had just been reading the latest chapter of his husband's new book. About two weeks ago, Jun had realised that he didn't know any of Ohno's works and he had decided to change that, so he asked his husband for his books.
It turned out that Ohno had not a single of his own books in his house. He thought it's arrogant to have his own book on the shelf. However, he offered Jun to read his stories on the computer which he had rejected. He liked having a book in his hand and turning pages, feeling the slightly rough paper between his fingers, a lot more than staring at a screen.
That's why he had went to the local book store to buy all of his husband's work. He explained that since they were HIS books, it wasn't arrogant to keep them in their house and he had the feeling that Ohno had been very happy to hear that Jun was interested in his work.
After starting to read the first book, Jun realised two things.
First, he really really liked reading. It must have been one of his hobbies before he lost his memory.
Second, his husband was a really talented author and his books were incredibly thrilling. Jun couldn't stop reading at all and nearly had to force himself to take breaks so that he could cook, which he usually loved to do.
Ohno had laughed about it and even offered to cook by himself, which Jun had been tempted to accept but he didn't feel like Cha-Han that day.
In the end, he had finished all of Ohno's six books in only twelve days and was longing for more of his husband's work. He had complained to Ohno who had allowed then him to read the manuscript of the book he was currently working on.
Jun had been thrilled to read it because he knew that until now only Nino had read it and nobody else. However, now that he finished all of Ohno's completed chapters, he wanted to know how the story would go on.
So, why should he not take advantage of the fact that he was the husband of the author?!
When he was looking up, he met Ohno's eyes. He hadn't realised that his husband had been watching him as he had assumed that Ohno was still writing.
It had become a habit that Jun was reading in Ohno's office, sitting on the comfy sofa that has been placed there. He could have chosen any other room but Jun liked to be close to Ohno and he could stand up quickly and steal a few kisses from his husband. Since their first kiss, they had shared a lot more, but Jun simply couldn't get enough of them.
“So, what do you think?” Ohno finally asked.
He had always asked Jun about his opinion on his books after he had finished them and Jun had felt incredibly happy to know that his husband was interested in his thoughts on the books. Now, he was even involved in the writing process.
“I think it's really exciting,” he answered. “Maybe the character development is a bit too fast though,” he added.
“I had feared it is. Since Nino is also a bit worried about this, I should go over that again,” Ohno said thoughtfully.
“It might be better,” Jun agreed. “So...,” he began. “How does it go on?”
Ohno chuckled.
“Not telling you!”
Jun made a shocked noise.
“What good is it to be the husband of the writer if you won't be told how the story will go on?!” he said and stood up, making his way to Ohno's seat, pinning him down in his chair while cupping his face in his hands. “I will pay for it,” he promised in a low voice and brushed his husband's lips.
He could see Ohno struggling to regain his composure and had to stop himself from grinning. He loved the effect he had on his husband (and the one Ohno had on him).
“I take the kiss happily, but I won't tell you how it goes on,” Ohno said, his voice trembling slightly.
Jun pouted.
“But I promise you to let you read the next chapter as soon as I finished it,” Ohno tried to soothe him.
“Even before Nino?” Jun asked, still pouting.
“Even before Nino,” his husband confirmed.
“Really? Wouldn't it be better to have him read it first? He is your manager after all,” Jun asked, not wanting to be a hindrance to Ohno's work.
“I want you to read it first,” Ohno gave back.
Jun could feel his heart starting to beat faster. He knew how much effort Ohno put into his work and how particular he was about his writing, so he was incredibly happy to hear that he wanted him to read it first.
“You are the number one in my life, so it is only natural that you'll be the one who reads my work first,” his husband went on and Jun's heart was racing by now.
Of course they had been kissing and cuddling over the past weeks, but Ohno had never confessed his feelings to him before. Although Jun had told himself (and was being told by Sho and Aiba) that it was nonsense to doubt Ohno's feelings, he had been worried that his husband might not want him as much as he had before his accident because in some way Jun was different now without his memory.
But now, Ohno had eased his fears and Jun couldn't stop himself from grinning. Suddenly, he felt very confident.
“So can I read it now?” Jun asked cheekily.
Ohno huffed.
“So you're only after my work, not caring about my feelings, at all,” he said, his hands waving dramatically and his voice was full of exaggeration.
Jun knew that Ohno was acting but he wanted to make one thing very clear, so he put his finger under Ohno's chin and raised his head, making their eyes meet.
“I care a lot about your feeling and I will never do anything that might hurt you,” he said serious and saw Ohno's eyes becoming soft.
However, before he could say more sappy things, Jun decided to show Ohno in a different way how much he cared for him and dived down for a long kiss.
~ . ~
“You're moving along nicely this time,” Nino stated after he finished to read the latest chapter.
“It's all thanks to Jun”, Ohno gave back. “He is taking good care of me, makes sure I sleep and eat enough to be in a good state to write...”
“While he also takes care that you are constantly grinning like an idiot,” Nino added, not unfriendly though. “Happiness causes people surpass themselves as you do with this story right now.”
“He really does make me happy,” Ohno admitted and smiled softly.
“I am happy for you, Oh-chan. I really am,” Nino assured his friend. “However, I am also worried about you.”
“I know,” the writer sighed, already aware of where this dialogue would lead right now. “But Jun told me that he would never hurt me,” he added stubbornly.
“I doubt he will remember that when he finds out about all of this,” Nino commented, trying not to sound too sarcastic.
“I know that he'll be furious when he regains his memory and realises what is going on. However, I want to think that he might also remember the wonderful moments we've spend together until now,” the author said and looked up to his friend.
Nino felt terribly sad for his friend. Ohno had falling in love with Jun but who knew if Jun's feeling were really sincere, too?
Everyone had told him that he had been overly in love with his husband and that they were a really happy couple. Jun had not even had the chance to get to know Ohno without any previous knowledge to judge him by himself. All those feelings that Jun might think he was having might only be the ones others told him to have.
Since Ohno was a clever man, he was also very aware of this fact which must hurt him quite a lot. Still, he was holding up the farce while his heart fell deeper and deeper for Jun. Wouldn't it be better to stop this whole thing before Ohno (and also Jun) would get hurt even more?
“What about YOU telling him the truth? He might appreciate your honesty,” Nino therefore suggested and for a moment, Ohno really seemed to consider that option.
However, when he answered, his eyes gave his thoughts away before he even voiced them.
“I cannot, Nino. I am too scared to loose him. I want to have him around me as long as possible.”
Nino patted his friend's back, not able to say much more. If Ohno had already fallen so deeply for Jun that he could not imagine being without him, there was nothing much they could do than to hope that Jun would never find out or that he won't get too angry, if he did.
“I hope you two will be able to spend a long time together,” he then said and Ohno thanked him. “However, if one day things might get out of control, you can always count on me, you do know that, right?”
Again, Ohno thanked him, but Nino could see the fear in his eyes.
He really wished, he would be able to help the author in any way, but the situation was simply too complicated and too unpredictable. They could only wait what time would bring. However, life sometimes had some surprises up its sleeves that nobody would ever think of...
~ . ~
“This was sooooo good!” Sho sighed and cleaned his mouth with the napkin.
“Really, Jun, if I would have any space left in my stomach, I would eat more, but I fear that if I eat one more piece of your amazing chocolate cake, I will burst at the seams,” Aiba agreed and rubbed his tummy.
“I usually don't eat sweet things, but your chocolate cake was really tasty! And the steak with the oven potatoes...,” Nino raved, his eyes glistening.
Ohno could see Jun beaming upon the praises of his friends. And Ohno could only agree. Jun had prepared a real feast.
They had invited their friends to celebrate the completion of his book. Nino had finally approved the latest draft and now it was ready to be handed to the proofreaders. Sure, there would be still some work to do if the manuscript came back from them, but the main work was done and thanks to Jun, completely in time.
Ohno had offered to look for a caterer but Jun had not wanted to hear any of this. He liked cooking, he had said, and he would be happy to prepare the food for this special occasion.
“It was really tasty, Jun. Better than in any restaurant!” Ohno also praised his husband who beamed at him.
“I wanted to prepare the perfect food for such an occasion,” he said and everyone agreed that it was indeed suited for such a celebration.
“I especially liked the marinade for your meat,” Aiba stated and in his head, Ohno agreed. The meat had become really tasteful thanks to it.
“Thank you! I got the receipt from Nagase during the filming of our movie,” Jun gave back, smiling.
Ohno's heart seemed to stop in his chest and also his friends were only gaping at Jun, some in horror and some in shock.
Also, Jun seemed to have realised what he had just said. His face showed the same expression of shock than Nino's. How long would it take until Jun's memory would provide him with the truth of his life?
Ohno already saw his life shattering right before his eyes. In a few minutes, Jun would know that he had been betraying him the whole time and then...
Ohno didn't want to think of what would happen then. He had always pushed the thoughts away, telling himself that he'd think about it when it was happening. However, NOW was the time to do so, but he couldn't. He still wanted to deny that Jun would leave him any minute. He had wanted to spend more time with that adorable man that had brightened his life in the past months.
Aiba was the first one to break the silence when he coughed slightly.
“You do remember Nagase?” he asked.
“Yeah...,” Jun answered, his voice wary.
“And you do remember the filming?” Aiba went on inquiring and although Ohno knew that someone had to talk to Jun, he wished, the psychologist would stop asking questions and help Jun's memory to fill in all the missing pieces.
This time, Jun only nodded.
“I see,” Aiba only replied before everyone fell silent again.
It cost Ohno all of his courage to look up at Jun. His husband... no, the actor was looking up at the ceiling, his expression unreadable. Ohno tried to cling to the fact that Jun was still sitting there and hadn't started to scream at him, but maybe, he needed a bit more time to sort his thoughts.
Ohno began to wonder if he should say something to Jun, if he should apologise or if he should ask for forgiveness. It might sooth Jun.
He kind of wished he had followed Nino's idea of telling Jun the whole truth before the other man would find out by himself. He could have explained everything properly, having had time to think about every word beforehand. Now, he was tongue-tied, and had no idea what to say.
“I do remember everything,” Jun stated and Ohno knew that he should say something, but his brain was still completely empty except for the thought that he would now loose Jun.
“I am so sorry, Jun,” Sho suddenly began. “Please don't be too angry with us. We only wanted to help you,” he tried to explain, wringing his hands.
“That's right!”, Nino jumped in. “And we had the feeling that you liked it here.”
“I only wanted you to be happy and stop putting yourself under pressure. You were so carefree these past months and smiled so much more. I was glad to see you like this,” Sho went on, obviously teaming up with Nino to try and prevent the worst.
“And you might doubt this man here,” Nino continued, pointing at Ohno. “But I can assure you his feelings for you were not acted at all. He is head over heels in love with you.”
Upon hearing this, Jun's look finally fell on Ohno. His face still not giving away any of his feelings.
“Really?” he asked.
Ohno would have loved to confess to Jun in any other situation, but since this was probably the last time he'd speak to Jun, he had to jump at his chance to tell him about his true feelings.
“I love you, Jun!” he therefore said, clearly and hopefully sounding convincing. “These past months with you have been so wonderful. I love having you around me and whenever you're out, I can't wait till you're back. I don't want to be without you ever again.”
Ohno knew that his last words were unnecessary since Jun would leave him anyway, but still, he wanted to say them, simply letting him know.
Jun sighed upon these words, but surprisingly, he still hadn't stood up to leave.
Sho and Nino looked like they were frantically searching for something to say to make Jun change his mind while Aiba was only watching Jun.
“I'm sorry, Ohno-san,” Jun finally whispered and Ohno's heart shattered into pieces. It was not as if he had not expected it, but Jun's words put an end to all of his hopes.
“I am sorry for lying to you!” Jun went on.
Now, Ohno was confused. Either his ears were not working correctly or Jun had gotten the situation wrong. Maybe, his memory still hadn't come back completely.
“What?” Sho asked and seemed to be as surprised as Ohno.
“I...,” Jun started but stopped in order to take a deep breath.
“It's okay, Jun,” Aiba encouraged him friendly and smiled at him.
“I know that I am an actor,” Jun finally said after another deep breath.
“Because you just remembered,” Sho stated, but Jun shook his head.
“No. I remembered this about two weeks ago,” he finally said, shrinking in his seat.
Ohno blinked. He still couldn't follow Jun completely. The only thing he understood was that Jun still hadn't gotten up to leave the room and that he was apologising for something.
“So you knew that we were lying to you for some time already but you didn't say anything?”, Nino summarized what he had understood and Jun nodded.
“I know I should have said something, but I didn't want to,” he confessed and started to play with his fingers.
“May I ask why you didn't want to tell us?” Aiba asked softly.
“Because I was worried that Ohno would send me away, then,” Jun explained and began to fidget nervously on his chair. “As Sho said, I am happy here. I feel good and I can laugh wholeheartedly. I didn't want to leave and go back to my former life...,” he went on, looking quite miserable, but he wasn't finished yet.
“Once I remembered my old life, I realised that I don't want to go back to it. I was so stressed and under pressure. I was fixated on the thought of getting another big role, convinced that I would only become happy when I would finally get it,” Jun went on, obviously having to let everything out. “But since I am here, I realised that a role in a movie is not going to make me happy. Having someone to care for, to talk to about your day, to hug and cuddle is what makes me feel happy.,” he explained.
Then, he looked at Ohno.
“Please, can you let me stay here, Ohno-san?”
Ohno tried to follow and if he got this correctly, and he wasn't so sure about this, the actor was not mad at him. He asked if he could stay. HE DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE!
“Jun, I will never sent you away!” he quickly made clear.
Jun smiled shyly at him. “I wasn't sure if you feel the same way I do. When I found out that we're not really married, I thought you might simply act like this so I would not find out about everything and cause trouble,” he explained his thoughts.
Ohno felt guilty pangs in his chest. He had made Jun so insecure with this lie that the other man had to suppress his wishes and feelings. He never wanted Jun to be in such a situation again.
“Who is the actor among us?” he therefore asked and Jun pointed reluctantly at himself. “Everything I told you, everything I did was because I was truly feeling it. I never did anything because I didn't want to or only because of our lie. As I said before, I love you, Jun and I don't want you to leave!” he made sure and hoped that despite all the lies, Jun would believe him this time.
“So I can stay here?” Jun asked and Ohno nodded forcefully.
“I don't have to go back to acting?” he asked, this time directed at Sho.
“Of course not!” the man answered. “I would never force you to do something you don't want to. I already told you before that you can take a break or even quit anytime you want. I just thought you didn't want to,” he assured Jun, who sighed in relief.
“I was actually thinking about applying for a job in the restaurant around the corner. They are looking for someone who helps out in the kitchen,” he said and looked at Ohno, wanting to know what he'd say about it.
“That's a great idea!” the author said. “You like cooking and it's nearby. It's perfect!”
The others also agreed that it was a really nice idea and Sho promised to visit the restaurant as soon as Jun was hired.
“So, now that this is solved,” Aiba announced in his personal cheerful way. “I think that enough time has passed to fit in another piece of this tasty chocolate cake,” he said and Jun immediately jumped up to get him the requested food.
“Seriously, Oh-chan, you should turn this into a book,” Nino stated before he also offered Jun his plate for another piece.
“We can even make a movie out of it,” Sho grinned. “With someone else in the main role, of course,” he quickly added and also asked for another piece of chocolate cake.
Ohno just laughed. He didn't care about books or movies right now. He was simply overflowing with happiness that Jun was not running away, leaving him behind.
When Jun came to bring him a new piece of cake as well, Ohno reached out for him to plant a kiss on his now official boyfriend's full lips, enjoying the sweet taste of it, knowing, that he would be allowed to kiss them again and again without having to worry about this stupid lie anymore.
They would need to have some more talking and explaining to do, but Ohno was sure that nothing would change their minds. They would stay together – forever.
~ . ~ THE END ~ . ~
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