Title: Phantom Pain
Pairing:Sakumoto
Rating:R
Summary: Is it hate or love? To push their careers popular scandalous rapper Sho and established model & actor Jun are asked by their managers to play a couple. Sho agrees to the plan, just because… well… he isn’t quite sure why – maybe because he feels weirdly drawn to Jun. The problem is that although he has never done anything to Jun, Jun seems to have a weird grudge against him.
Warnings: It’s not in detail (!), but the story touches upon some sensitive topics (such as self-harm and rape). So it might be triggering. (NO Arashi member or JE member as an antagonist. And as I said, nothing in detail! It all lies in the past) – and it’s really not as dark as this warning makes it sound XD I think it’s rather fluffy ;-)
A/N: Dear akhikaru, I was so happy to write for you and I hope you’ll like this! I originally started to write another prompt, but then suddenly this here happened – and I just had to take your fake relationship for PR prompt :D




Sho eyes the two men in front of him in pure disbelief. He is supposed to do… WHAT!? He can’t quite grasp it, hence he asks again. “What!?”

“You have asked that once already,” Ninomiya, his manager and friend, rolls his eyes. “Listen, Sho-san, Matsumoto is basically the IT-thing right now. His face is on every fashion magazine. And we want to push your singing career on a new level, right? Away from the little stages and more towards bigger or even international halls?”

Sho nods tentatively.

“Just like Matsumoto wants to have a bigger acting career.” Nino grins. “Pretending that two of the most famous young men the entertainment business has to offer right now are together will boost your media presence and your popularity!”

“And Matsumoto-san is okay with it?” Sho wants to know, frowning slightly. All he knows is that Matsumoto holds this weird grudge against him. Completely unnecessary, as Sho has never done anything to him. He even remembers him from their High School days, when Jun was still this cute and smiley teenager, nothing like the grumpy guy he is now at least towards Sho. Everyone else swears he is one of the nicest guys ever. “I can’t believe he is.”

Nino grins, and throws a glance at Matsumoto’s manager. “Let that be my problem,” the man – his name is Ohno – just says calmly. “For now I need to know if you agree or not. Then I’ll talk to Jun.”

“But.” Sho lets out an exasperated sigh. There are so many things against it that he doesn’t even know where to start. First and foremost, Matsumoto doesn’t like him much. They are part of the same agency, yes, but he HATES him! “Matsumoto despises me out of no valid reason,” Sho finally says. “He is a super-annoying diva, and-“

“He is also in the other room and might hear you,” Ohno interrupts him calmly.

Sho bites his tongue. Oh, please no. He has enough problems already with having overlapping TV appearances with Matsumoto, without having a direct confrontation with him. If he heard that now, he would most likely be even more pissed at him.

“But every good relationship needs some drama,” Nino says with a smirk. “Wouldn’t it be good if he had a valid reason to dislike you? Then you could work it out together~”

Sometimes Sho hates Nino too, like seriously, he has way too much fun with shit like this. “I don’t know…” Sho finally says.

“Sakurai-san,” Ohno intervenes earnestly. “It’s only for a few months. You will live together in an apartment huge enough that you won’t even need to see each other if you don’t want to. Separated bathrooms and bedrooms. And in a few months we will stage a break-up.”

“More publicity,” Nino grins. “And don’t worry, we’ll make it in a way that both of you can leave this story with dignity. Something were you can keep your cool image, and Matsumoto his emotional one.”

“Yeah, giving Matsumoto a tear-jerking, touching and melodramatic background story has always worked miracles,” Sho answers bitingly before he can stop himself.

“He might have heard that too,” Ohno comments with a frown.

Nino rolls his eyes. “I know you don’t like him, but-“

“That’s not it!” Sho huffs, because really, Sho’s feelings are not the problem. He has never disliked Matsumoto. On the contrary he has always wanted to overcome the distance between them. “I never had something against him. But he doesn’t like <i>me</i>.”

“Whatever.” Ohno makes a dismissive gesture with his hand. “You are making it difficult for me to convince Jun of this,” he points out. “So just say yes or no without any extra explanation.”

Sho sighs. This just screams catastrophe in all kinds of languages, and he sees himself growing grey hair during the next weeks, but… he wants to give his career a push, he wants to have his real breakthrough, and maybe, maybe, he can find out why that guy hates him so much. They have a lot of work together, it’s only good when they work on their differences. “Only for a few months?” he asks.

Both men nod.

“Fine,” Sho mumbles, wondering if he’ll regret this. He assumes he will. When he leaves the other two and walks down the corridor, he passes the room where Jun is reading his script, probably for a dorama. Their gazes meet, and Jun just looks away with a deep frown. Oh, Sho is sure, he will regret this.


~~~


Jun just says hello shortly, before he non-chalantly kicks a box into the part of the apartment that is his. Nino was right, it is huge, huge enough for them to be able to divide the whole apartment into two, they even have two bathrooms, and two living rooms, they’ll only share the kitchen. Sho swallows nervously. He hasn’t spent much time with Jun up to now, although they did visit the same High School, as usual for upcoming young idols, and now that they are in their ‘30s they still don’t quite get along. He has never done anything to Jun, still the latter seems to despise him. He should probably say something though, anything, they are supposed to play a couple after all!

Jun however demonstratively closes the door to his living room before Sho has the chance to do a little small-talk.

He waits for three hours, unpacking his stuff, and distracting himself, but then he can’t ignore the nervous twitching in his stomach anymore. He swallows down the knot in his throat and knocks at the door shyly. “Matsumoto-san?” he asks, and peaks through the door. Jun is sitting on the sofa with a few scripts in front of him.

He doesn’t even look up. “Hm?”

Sho takes a deep breath. “Matsumoto-san, we are supposed to play a couple, don’t you think, we should…” he pauses, what should he say now? Everything he has in mind sounds weird and creepy.

“Practise?” Jun asks, and his voice is dripping with sarcasm.

Sho blushes. “No, not like that. I didn’t mean…” He shakes his head. “I meant, we could talk a bit to get to know each other?” He has to admit he doesn’t sound too convincing, although he really means it, but it came out… off. So when Jun rolls his eyes, he can’t even be mad at him.

“You’ve been more convincing before.” Jun turns back to his script. “Let me handle the press,” he says calmly. “I know how to act a couple. Just go with the flow.”

“But I don’t know anything about you,” Sho frowns. “How am I supposed to act when they ask me separately about you?”

Jun throws him a glance Sho doesn’t quite understand. He seems to be annoyed, and a little angry and disappointed at once, and Sho just doesn’t get it. “Sakurai-san,” Jun says, stoic as usual. “If you really can’t even lie to find a few things you find interesting about me, then watch a few romance movies and copy lines out of them!” He frowns. “Besides I’m just an annoying diva anyway. So you know <i>that</i> already.”

Sho winces slightly. So he did hear him. Great. It probably was stupid to say that, and not really nice. Sho chews on his lower lip for a while, wondering what else he could say, but then he assumes that for Jun the talk is over, so he retreats carefully and closes the door behind him.


~~~


Sho hates when Nino is right. He seriously does. Because that idiot has this wide and sneaky grin on his face then. Sho’s and Jun’s relationship really went through the media and social networks like a rocket. He has expected to receive a lot of hate, but to his surprise the fact that Jun is supposed to be his counterpart helps. Apparently Jun has a wide LGBT community behind him, much to Sho’s surprise. He has never followed Jun’s work, just knows that he is known for playing convincing love scenes, and doesn’t scare away from pretty straight-forward kissing and sex scenes.

“He started with indie movies, which is why his career went a different path. It’s why he gets to play these darker roles. And he has played a gay lover once,” his friend Aiba points out. It is basically the only thing he and Jun have in common. Their friendship with Aiba. “He has had a lot of love scenes there, and the LGBT community has a very high opinion of him for playing this role without any stupid remarks and without opposing the kissing and love scenes.”

“So that’s why it had to be me with Matsumoto-san,” Sho muses. It makes more sense now, because his own fan community is a lot more conservative. “I’m surprised that on my own social media account the flaming stays low.”

“People find him hot,” Aiba grins. “I read a few posts. And they say stuff like: Sakurai Sho is straight for sure, but MatsuJun is hot, so he makes an exception for him.” He giggles.

Sho sighs. “I wished it wouldn’t be necessary. He is so-“

“Ah!” Aiba raises his hands. “Don’t forget I’m your mutual friend. You can talk to me about Jun, but don’t say anything mean.”

Sho chuckles. “Don’t worry, I know. I just wanted to say that he is really so against me like I killed his childhood pet.”

“Maybe you did?” Aiba jokes.

Sho chuckles. “Definitely not. I just wonder if I killed something else instead. Is he normally that distanced or is it just with me?”

Aiba robs around nervously, before he lets out a sigh. “He is distanced with almost everyone, but not as cold as he is towards you. Normally he is really polite,” he finally admits. “Maybe you did something but can’t remember? Didn’t you go to the same school? Did something happen there?”

Sho shrugs. “I can’t remember to be honest. We went to the same school, but I was a bit older – he was always friendly back then. We had to work together for a school festival once.”

Aiba perks up curiously. “And?”

“It was alright.” Sho blinks, remembering these weeks many years ago, when he met Jun for real for the first time and worked together with him. Jun wasn’t distanced like he is now, he was actually nice. “He was all normal and nice towards me, and really cute,” he muses. He really was. Jun was nice. What the hell happened? “I think I need to do some reminiscing,” Sho says.

Aiba laughs. “Yes, maybe!”

“Do you know anything?”

“Unfortunately not,” Aiba says. “Though I’m glad about it, because it means I don’t need to hide anything from you. It’s easier like that.”

Sho can understand that very much. It has to be hard to be his and Jun’s friend at the same time at the moment, since they are living together. And he is sure Jun vents out some anger towards Aiba too.

However, he has other things to worry about than what Jun tells Aiba or not, because they have a press conference coming up, and he needs to meet with Jun and both of their managers before that. When he arrives at the place for the press conference and heads to the beauty and make-up room, he finds Jun and the other two men there already. Jun looks gloomy, and annoyed, and Sho decides to better not even look at him.

Ohno however doesn’t seem to mind, he sits next to Jun, chats with him in a low voice, and within only a few minutes Jun’s expression lights up a bit. Sho wonders how Ohno is doing that, how he is able to make Jun warm up so fast. He knows Jun treats everyone – except for Sho – with respect and he knows his co-actors and directors only talk the highest of him, he has tons of friends, but Ohno is surely seeing a side of Jun that’s not always happy. Still he can so easily make him loosen up.

Nino however is the complete opposite of Ohno. He stares at Sho with wide-opened eyes. “I told you to get some beauty sleep for today! What happened with your hair!?”

Sho sighs. “Nino, I’m normally wearing a mask when I perform. Since when do I need to get some beauty sleep? My fans already know I can look like a complete mess.”

To his surprise he can see how Jun’s lips tug a bit. It’s only a moment and Jun looks away immediately, but Sho is sure he has seen it right. Jun smiled.




The press conference itself has to be the weirdest thing he has ever experienced, and as a rapper slash singer out of a traditional family and with a rebellious image when he was younger, he has had a few weird press conferences. But this here is a whole new level, because Jun holds his hand, and smiles brightly into the camera, and answers all the questions from the journalists. Here and there he throws loving glances towards Sho, and giggles and blushes. Oh my god, he is so good that Sho feels bad for obviously having underestimated him. That guy is a pro! He needs to watch those love-scene movies with him, and the one where he played a gay lover. Hm, yes~

The fact that Sho feels nervous and a little uncomfortable seems to help because the journalists just assume he is shy.

Here and there he can feel how Jun gives his hand a squeeze, probably to urge him to say something. Sho is so stunned though that he doesn’t know what to say or do, and when one of the journalists asks him directly how he fell in love with Jun, he is just… at a loss. He is about to stutter something stupid because he just needs to say something or Nino… and Ohno… and Jun… and probably even Aiba will kill him, when Jun winces next to him all of a sudden. He even gasps in pain, and lets go of Sho’s hand, cringing in pain.

“Jun-san?” Sho exclaims in shock, and grabs his arm to steady Jun. “Everything alright? What is it?” He looks which part of his body Jun has clasped now. It’s his sides. “Is it the appendix?” Sho asks in sudden worry, and carefully removes Jun’s hand from his sides, carefully touching the part Jun seems to feel pain at. “It’s okay,” he tries to soothe Jun, and forces him to sit down on one of the seats, eternally thankful that his mother is a doctor and he has learned quite a bit about first aid.

When he looks up, Jun’s face is flushed and he looks so shy all of a sudden, that nothing in his expression reminds Sho of the Jun he normally interacts with. Jun’s breath evens out, and he takes Sho’s hand to squeeze it. “Thank you, Sho-san,” he says, and much to Sho’s surprise he sounds honest. There is a glance in his eyes he hasn’t seen before. Then however it’s gone and Jun has this professionally in-love-for-the-media look again. He stands up carefully and bows to the press. “I apologize,” he says. “I once broke a few ribs, and it seems I made a wrong movement today and the phantom pain returned. It happens sometimes.”

The melodramatic background. Sho has to hide a grin. It always works. Jun is a pro at it.


~~~

“THAT WAS BRILLIANT, MATSUMOTO-SAN!” Nino has that million-dollar look in his eyes, apparently because the press conference turned out to be great and Sho’s spontaneous act of help made everyone believe this whole farce. “The way you pretended to be hurt.”

Jun blushes a bit. “I didn’t mean to lie like that,” he explains. “But I thought I needed to do something so that we come off as more natural.”

Sho pouts, feeling like an idiot for falling for this trick. At the same time he is glad that Jun provoked a reaction from him like that, otherwise the press conference would have turned into a disaster. “What if I hadn’t reacted well? Or didn’t do anything?”

“But you did,” Jun points out calmly. “I didn’t think you would be so heartless not to react when someone next to you faints in pain.”

Sho isn’t sure if that’s supposed to be a compliment now or an insult or just an emotionless comment. He is about to let the whole issue slide and discuss a few issues with Nino, when he sees how Ohno approaches Jun. “Are you sure you are alright?” Ohno whispers quietly but Sho can still hear him.

Sho blinks in surprise. His mind goes back to the moment when Jun cringed in pain. When Sho looked at him while attending to him, he had this weirdly embarrassed look in his eyes, and he looked so soft and shy all of a sudden. Could that only be an act? The way Jun was smiling and pretending to be in love during the conference was entirely different to that open look he showed him while Sho helped him. What did he tell the press? Phantom pain? When did Jun break his ribs? Was that a lie too?


~~~

They drive home together, obviously, because they need to show everyone that they live together. Sho immediately sees a paparazzo close to them, taking a photo, but he pretends he hasn’t seen him. Instead he takes Jun’s hand, and smiles while he opens the door for him. Jun catches on immediately, he even bends forward a bit and places a surprise kiss on Sho’s cheek.

Here is the headline, Sho thinks, trying not to feel too shocked by Jun’s little innocent kiss. Something inside his stomach flutters slightly, much to his surprise. He almost wishes Jun would always be so nice.

In the elevator however Jun lets go of Sho’s hand. He doesn’t look at Sho, but this time it doesn’t feel so demonstratively as usual. When they enter their apartment, Jun looks down to the floor, slipping out of his shoes. “Thank you,” he says all of a sudden, and Sho isn’t even sure what he is thanking him for. With that Jun disappears into this living room, giving Sho no chance to say or do something.

He sighs slightly. It feels weirdly lonely to live with someone who doesn’t want to spend time with him. He has always lived alone since he moved out of his parents’ house at the age of 16, because he chose to become a singer, and sometimes he felt lonely, and alone, but it’s different to living here now, with someone who doesn’t like him. It could have been so nice if they had been friends. They could have laughed about all the weird stuff they needed to do now like pretending to be a couple, they could watch movies together, and eat together. But nothing like that seems possible. On top of that it’s weekend tomorrow, and a weekend spent alone like this sounds just awful.

However, Sho has no other option than to warm up a cup with instant curry, and eat it in front of the TV while watching the news and working on his newest song. He lacks  inspiration a bit though, so he drops it for today and goes to bed early.


~~~


Sho hears a scream.

Loud enough to wake him up from his stone-like sleep. Up to today all his friends make fun of him for sleeping through everything. However the scream apparently was unusual enough to make him jump up. For a moment he has no orientation at all, wondering what happened, where he is and who just screamed. When he hears it again.

“Jun-san?” Sho calls out and rushes to Jun’s bedroom, scared that someone broke into their apartment and does something to Jun, or that he hurt himself and-

Much to his surprise it’s nothing like that. Jun just lies in his bed, tossing around like he is in pain. Sho is at his side immediately, shaking him slightly. Even though he expected the reaction, he still doesn't react fast enough, and Jun has already slapped him before he can catch his hand. Sho winces at the sudden pain, sure that Jun’s fingernails left traces on his face, but has no time to linger on it, instead he grabs Jun’s hands before the latter can punch him again in his weirdly after-nightmare daze. “Jun-san, calm down,” he starts to talk softly immediately. “It’s me, Sho. You know, the idiot you live together with and don’t like.”

Jun stares at him, and for a moment it seems like he doesn’t even understand who and where he is, then his gaze gets clearer, and he lets out a deep sigh. “I…” he mumbles, but his voice sounds distanced, and Sho assumes he isn’t quite here with him yet. Hence he doesn’t let go of his hands, forcing him to sit up a bit.

“Jun-san,” he says softly. “You had a bad dream, didn’t you? Or are you hurt?”

Jun shakes his head slightly. “Nightmare,” he mumbles. “Sorry.”

Sho rubs his arms soothingly, wondering slightly why someone would have such a horrible nightmare. Is that really normal? His gaze shifts to Jun’s left arm. Jun normally wears wristbands around it, as the fashion addict he obviously is, but now he doesn’t, and the sleeve of his pyjama slipped up. Sho’s eyes widen as he sees a dozen of little scars there, some of them already faded into the skin, some angry enough to remain visible.

Jun startles when he realizes his glance, pulling his arm away immediately, and hiding it under his sleeve.

Sho is not sure what the hell he is supposed to say now. He decides that it’s probably the best not to address the topic at all. Not now. Instead he needs to make sure that the guy gets something warm to drink, and calm down again. Difficult talks should probably wait until he has made Jun open up to him. “I’m getting you some tea,” he says as casually as possible. Apparently his tactic is successful, because Jun looks at him in surprise. He probably expected curious questions.

“Tea?” he stutters.

“Yes, I’ll prepare some jasmine tea for you. Just wait here,” Sho smiles, and tugs the blanket around Jun. “You just try to feel comfortable now, okay, Jun-san? I’ll be back in a minute.”

He realizes only when he makes the tea that he has been calling Jun by his first name the whole time, and not only in front of the press. He also realizes that he just thought about making Jun open up to him, much to his own surprise. Does he really want to? Jun hates him, but… at the same time his look today at the press conference and also right now… there is no hate in his eyes. Maybe Aiba is right, and something happened once, and Sho just forgot or doesn’t know.

Jun touches something inside him. Through their weird little kindergarten-like feud he has always had an eye on him, not realizing that he has watched Jun for almost ten years now. Isn’t it a waste to just fight with him? Sho nods to himself. It is. From now on he will try to become friends with him, and not play along with Jun’s weird moods towards him.

When he comes back to Jun’s room with the tea, Jun thanks him, and Sho continues calling him Jun-san. Jun doesn’t address it, doesn’t tell him to call him differently. Instead he smiles slightly. Sho nods contently. One step after another.

“I’m sorry,” Jun says all of a sudden.

“For what?” Sho wants to know and takes the empty cup away from Jun.

“I hit you, didn’t I? I think I did.”

Sho is inclined to lie to him, and tell him he didn’t, but he can’t… He hates people who lie, and he assumes Jun does too. “You were in shock,” he says with a chuckle. “I knew you would probably react like that. Unfortunately I have the reflexes of an old man.”

Jun reaches out his hand and touches Sho’s cheek softly. “I’m sorry,” he repeats while he turns Sho’s face to look at it. His fingers brush over the lines his nails left there. “I’m so sorry.”

“Nah,” Sho feels weirdly drawn between feeling embarrassed and touched and happy, all emotions he has never felt towards Jun like that before. “You slap like a girl anyway.”

To his joy Jun has to smile at that comment. “Jerk,” Jun answers, but it lacks any bite to be an insult. “Can you…” Jun pauses, apparently not sure how to continue.

Sho gets it though. “Yeah, your bed is better anyway.” He waits for Jun to rob to the side a bit, so that he can lie down too. “And bigger. Why do you have the better bed? Where the hell did you buy that?”

“Europe,” Jun explains.

“What!? Why? You can buy a bed from Europe and have it shipped here?”

Jun chuckles all of a sudden, and snuggles under the covers. “You really are like an old man. Even more than Ohno-san.” He turns around with a frown. “You don’t snore, do you?”

Sho grins. “Not at all,” he lies.


Part Two